I THINK YOU’RE THE FATHER OF ONE OF MY KIDS… A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde woman wave at him and say hello. He’s rather taken aback, because he can’t place where he knows her from. So he says, “Do you know me?” To which she replies, “I think you’re … Read more
Wednesday One-Liners: ‘That’s What She Said’ Conductor: Okay, folks, we’re actually running ahead of schedule. We’ll be stopping for approximately 40 minutes, so if you like you can get out and spread your legs. Spread your— stretch your legs— —Amtrak train into Penn Overheard by: KT Girl on cell: Hey, Mom. Hold on a second, … Read more
My alarm was set for 7:30, but I was up at 6:44. I checked the rest of the Oscar winner list, checked my mail, and the morning Snowshoe Snow Report and Forecast. We packed up our things, packed them in the car, and headed out to the slopes—just about right at lift start time. What we … Read more
I was up before my alarm, which was again set for 8:00. I had my usual cheese toast and a hard-boiled egg for breakfast. We lollygagged a little bit this morning, as it was snowing pretty heavily, and it looked cold. I checked my e-mail to find this nice little ditty: Congratulations! You have been … Read more
Not before My First Cup of Coffee Man to lady pushing onto train: Look, I can’t go in much further unless I start sodomizing the guy in front of me. Guy in front of him: Yeah… I really don’t want that. —Crowded L train, Bedford Overheard by: KiltMan via Overheard in New York, Feb 24, … Read more
Rick was up before the alarm, which was set for 7AM, this morning. I got up at 7:15 when he was finished in the bathroom. We were dressed, packed the car with everything but my laptop and what we were going to be wearing on the slopes later, and we headed down to the FoodMart, … Read more
I got up at 8AM, and did a little bit of work on my ENG 675 Design Document capturing some information from my meeting with Jon Idol yesterday. I had my morning coffee and some breakfast, and let’s just leave it at a surprising “solid morning duty.” There is a &deity. After the trash and … Read more
No hangin’ ’round… Conductor: I can’t move this train if you hangin’ halfway out of it. Move all the way in when the doors close. [Doors start to close, fail.] Conductor: All the way in means no legs, arms, or asses be hangin’ out no doors! —6 train, 77th St stop via Overheard in New … Read more
I’m much better today, and actually drove into the office to work. I got in early enough that traffic wasn’t an issue. Since I’ve become an editor, been working only two days a week for nine months now, and going into the office maybe once every other week or so, I really don’t have any … Read more
If Dr. Phil Did 2000 Sit-Ups a Day LL Cool J walks by gaggle of middle-aged black ladies, smiling as he passes. Ladies: Oh my god, oh my god, that’s LL! Black woman to white woman: You people don’t understand—that was like you white folks seeing Dr. Phil! —LaGuardia Overheard by: Swanny via Overheard in … Read more