Ambivalence

My “Process War Room Meeting” went well today. As usual, I spent the morning stressing out about it, which at least gets me prepared, and it went off fine. Alan was in a good mood today, which always helps.

I left work at 4:30 to meet Nathan at 5:00. All is well on the financial front. I owe him $3000 for a Roth IRA contribution for 2003, if I want to make one. He mentioned the possibility of setting up a “John Martin Foundation,” which appeals to me. I can do it so that it’s created posthumously, or do it while I’m alive, which comes with tax advantages. I’m thinking about a High School Senior scholarship to a kid who has been “out” in High School, and has “made a difference” as a GLBT leader.

Just before I went in to see Nathan, I checked in with Jeanie-baby to make sure she has $5000 in her Wachovia account, from which I wrote a check to the United States Treasury for her quarterly estimated taxes. No answer on her cell phone.

I called the house, Jimmy answered, I said, “How’s Jeanie-baby?” and he said, “Let me put Phyllis on.” She had just returned from the hospital. Jeanie had ODed last night, but was going to fully recover. I know Phyllis must be feeling very guilty about it, and I do to a minor extent as well. I haven’t been in touch as much recently as I would have liked to.

I hate that things have gotten this bad for her, but I can totally understand her “just being tired.” She had yet another mini-stroke last week, and was going to have to start physical therapy all over again, which she didn’t like. Plus her eyesight is now almost totally gone. Very discouraging, distressing, and depressing to her, I know.

I need to get down there to visit once she’s out of the hospital.

I had my first grad student class last night, which I was excited about all day. It was a short class, introducing ourselves, going over the syllabus, the assignments, and finding out what books to buy. It’s a pain that we have to get them through B&N or amazon.com, as the NCSU book store doesn’t carry them.

It was just so cool being back in school, on a campus, in a “classroom.” I brought my laptop, and was a little worried about “being the old man in the back of the room with the laptop,” but to my surprise the room was a “lab,” and every student had a full desktop computer at their seat. So I fit right in. 🙂

I’m excited.

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