I attended another Dreamweaver class this morning, “Using Templates.” Once again, I am motivated to work on my two website projects for this semester, and then redesigning my personal homepage, probably during the summer break. I have pretty much decided not to take a summer class.
I got to work at about 12:15, and did some organizing before, and preparation for, my 2:00 21 CFR 11 Status conference call with the Austin and Santa Cruz folks. It’s always a challenge dealing with Randy, and today was no exception. Anyway, the team seems to be making progress on their action items. The rest of the afternoon, I worked on cleaning out my inbox some, and organizing my questions for my 1.5 hour meeting with Loretta tomorrow.
I left work a little later than I should have, and went directly to the GenderPac “Friendraiser” at Anne’s home in downtown Raleigh. There were more people there than I expected to be, and some I’d rather not have been, though I guess in terms of raising money, it was good they were there.
On the way there, in the car, I was thinking about what I would say if we were asked to talk about our interest in and connection to the transgender community. This is what I had considered saying:
I have conversed with four transgender IBM employees for several years now. Three have completed their transition, and two of those three, transitioned on the job at IBM. The fourth one confided in me about a year ago now, we met for lunch, and he was getting to the point where he was starting hormone and laser treatments and was going to have to tell his manager. Then one day I got a note from him telling me that he had decided to not proceed with everything at this point.
In May of 2002, I attended the GenderPac 2002 conference. IBM had become a platinum level sponsor that year, and in return had received 6 free tickets to the conference. They were advertised and I asked for one of them. It was in DC. It was such an interesting weekend, at which I attended several seminars, and lunched with Riki Wilchins, the executive director of GenderPac, as she hosted the IBMers. The three things that stood out most to me from that weekend are:
- On the continuum of gender expression and sexual orientation from straight (on the right) to transgender (all the way on the left), if we can get society to accept transgender folks, then the gays and lesbians will be “in like flint.” This is the motivation for the gay community to fight this fight.
- Gay & Lesbian people should be interested in the “gender issue” because it also greatly affects them. The number one answer from straight guys when asked why the don’t like gay men is “because they act like women.” This is a gender issue. And GenderPac works on gender issues.
- I was blown away (in a good, and encouraged way) by the number of young transgender people that were at this conference… in the 18-22 year old range. Good for them for coming out about this so early, and saying, “I’m just not going to take it.”
In January of 2003, while waiting for the “Drag Show on the Slopes” at Gay Ski Week in Aspen, who should walk by handing out leaflets for a GenderPac meeting happening that night in Aspen, but Riki Wilchins! I called her over and reminded her of who I was and told her that my book club was currently reading her book, Read My Lips. “Oh, I was so angry when I wrote that book.” she said, which was so interesting, because that’s what several of the folks had been commenting about while we were reading it. I told her I’d see her that night at the meeting.
At the meeting, guess who the “keynote speaker” was. James Dale. James Dale of the Supreme Court case, “The Boy Scouts of America vs. James Dale.” What a strikingly handsome man, with beautiful eyes. We chatted for a little while.
A fun little aside about this meeting. I called one of my book club members, Suzanne, and said, “Hi Suzanne. Greetings from the slopes of Aspen. Hey, I’m at a gathering, and I wanted you to say hello to a friend of mine.” I put Riki on, and she said, “Hi, I’m Riki Wilchins, the author of that book you’re reading.” It was a hoot!
Another connection to the trans community was when I attended a PFLAG meeting at which “Understanding Transgender” was the topic. A couple, whose son, Randy, had transitioned to “Rachel,” told their heart-warming story and presented an education module on transgender and intersex. I thought their presentation was a little “light” from an accuracy perspective (from what I’ve read in Riki’s book, and from the seminar sessions I attended at the GenderPac conference), but there was no doubt that the emotional part of their presentation was very powerful.
Back in Raleigh, and away from work, my interest in the transgender community is as a result of my work with Triangle Community Works (tcworks.org).
Fortunately before I said any of that, especially that part about the couple not giving the most accurate information, I recognized that couple over in the corner. They were here!
The hosts had great hors d’oeuvres set out for this party. I was the only one in jeans and a t-shirt, and, of course, didn’t care. It sure didn’t stop them from taking my $250 donation at the end of the evening.
There was “mingling” for over an hour, which I’m not at all inclined to do, even as an extrovert. I wanted us all to sit in a circle, and go around the room to say how we were connected to the transgender community. I thought this would help us all to hear each other’s interest, and make for betting networking, than walking around each telling each other’s story over and over.
Finally, at about 8:15, the host called us “to order” and we took seats in a circle in the living area. Anne thanked us for coming to her home, and introduced Kristin from GenderPac. I like her instantly. Great energy. She talked about GenderPac’s work, and took questions from the audience. There was one transgender person there, Jami, who was MTF. She shared a funny story about playing “aggressive, physical” basketball, even now as a girl, which is not accepted too well.
Way late (this gig started at 7), at about 8:25, three people came plowing through the door. Three African-American folks, who looked like they were lost in this lily-white, upper-crust gathering. I was so relieved at the breath of fresh air coming in.
After Kristen finished, these folks talked a little bit about the work they are doing in Fayetteville. There was a man (51 year old), a boy (18 years old, I think he said), and his mother. The man said, “We runs a group there where the hetasecshul boys and the gay boys git together. This boy here, he a hetasecshul. And we get the hetasechsul boys to be the gay boys and the gay boys to be the hetasecshul boys, you know, in role play and stuff like that. And we teach them all to get along.”
He spoke for a while, and then the subject came up of teaching abstinence in the schools, and he exclaimed, “Oh lawd. Not that ‘gin. That’s what theys did in the 60’s. And we was doin da nasty then and they doin the nasty now. I knows I was ho-ney all da time. I’d be playing ball, and da boys dingies be in my face, and dat made me ho-ney. And you’d be in the gym, or doin sumpin and da dingies in yo face ‘gin.”
It was so excellent watching this man tell “the real deal” while all the other folks were looking at each other not sure how to react. I was cracking up. The one IBM executive there, walked around out of the room and into the kitchen to get more wine. I thought it was just beautiful.
The gathering closed, I made my donation on my American Express to get frequent flyer points for it at least, and then called Joe from my car. We met at the KFC/A&W Root Beer place on Western Blvd at 10, but it closed at 10. We went to McDonald’s but only the drive-thru was open. We went into BoJangles. Joe got some chicken strips, and I got a sausage biscuit.
We went to Flex for Trailer Park Night and chatted with Ross for quite a while. Sometimes he can be such a prude. Nothing else happened. Trixie was the emcee, so I knew I’d be getting out of there shortly after the show started; I really can’t stand her. I left at one.