A walk, some less than spectacular bruschetta, Karaoke, and a gay meme…

During lunch today, I walked for 45 minutes around the IBM Rec Center outdoor track.

I listened to music the entire time this time — no podcasts.


I stopped at the grocery store on the way home, and among other things, bought some pre-made brushetta topping, which turned out to be no where near as good as the stuff I make myself.

I walked around the Food Lion at least three times trying to find the fresh Mozzarella. They didn’t have any. I ended up buying a package of the shredded kind.


I met Kevin (av8rdude) at Flex for Tuesday Night Karaoke.

I am not going to beat a dead horse about how “like totally obnoxious” the emcee was. “I swear to god.”


[Warning: Some of my responses to these questions are sexually explicit, especially since some of the questions are sexually explicit. If you think you might vomit, please don’t read — or at least have a bag or trash can on hand.]

The Gay Meme

1. How old were you when you knew you were gay?

I think I realized what it was called when I was about 13.  

2. Have you ever had sex with the opposite sex?

Yes. I was married (to a woman) for 16 years.

3. Who is the first person you came out to?

A female friend in high school.

4. Are you out to your parents?

Yes.

5. Do you want children?

No. I had a vasectomy when I was 29 years old.  My wife didn’t want kids, and I could have gone either way.  Since we weren’t going to have them, I thought it was ridiculous for her to keep putting drugs in her body to keep it from happening, so I got snipped and she got off the pill.

6. Do you have more gay friends or straight friends?

That’s a tough one.  Let’s just say, “It’s a close call.” I do know that I hang out more with my gay friends.

7. Were you out in school?

No. Well, not high school or undergraduate college 25 years ago. I’m in grad school now, and I’m totally out there.

8. Is your best friend the same sex as you?

I’m hard-pressed to name just one best friend.  I have several, each “best” for their own reasons, and both sexes (if there are only two sexes) are represented in the mix.

9. Have you ever done crystal meth?

No. The only drug I’ve ever done is marijuana, and only don’t do it all the time because it’s illegal.  I love the “no-calorie” aspect of it. I do realize that it often leads to “calorie-laden” activities, though.

10. Have you ever been in a sling?

No. 

11. Have you ever done a 3-way?

Yes — several with two men, as well as one with a married (man/woman) couple.

12. Have you ever dressed in drag?

I have dressed like a woman, but not to do drag.  In fact, I got my make-up done at the MAC counter at Hudson Belk’s in Crabtree Valley Mall, and I told the artist specifically, “I do not want to look like a drag queen.  I want to look like a ‘real’ woman.”  It was for Halloween one year, and I’d never want to do it again.  My size 22 party dress was not comfortable, and my size 12 pumps were killing me early into the night.  God bless women for all they go through.

Here I am as “Juanita Ferrero Martino” for the evening:

13. Would you date a drag queen?

I would date someone who performs as a drag queen, yes.  However, I would not date a drag queen who stayed in drag all/most of the time.  I am attracted to men, not women.

14. Are you a top/bottom or truly versatile?

The “Exit Only” tattoo that I have metaphorically stamped at the top of the crack of my ass speaks for itself.  I have nothing against “bottoms,” nor do I have preconceived notions about them.  That act physically hurts me, and that’s not going to change no matter how many guys tell me, “Oh, you just need to relax,” or “You just haven’t found the right guy,” or “There’s a fine line between pain and pleasure.”  I’m perfectly satisfied being a “top,” and there are no shortage of “bottoms” to go around.

15. Have you seen an uncircumcised penis?

Seen one, touched one, and have had one in my mouth.  Okay, more than one. (No, not at the same time! What do you think I am, a pervert?) Okay, that’s TMI.

16. Have you had sex with someone of a different race?

Yes.

18. How many Cher CDs do you own?

One. 

19. Name of your first true love.

Frank, but he never knew it.

20. Do you still talk to them?

No.

21. Does size matter?

I prefer a smaller one that works to one that’s big and won’t get, or stay, hard. However, bigger ones that work are not unpleasant. Oh, you meant the size of his heart? My bad. Yes, when it comes to hearts, size matters.

22. Biggest turn on?

A beautiful smile. Positive energy. Intellect. Thick, black hair in strategic places, including a heavy 5 o’clock shadow.

23. Biggest turn off?

People who take a really long time to sense when another person is not interested in them, and then even longer to accept that fact and move on.

24. Ever been harassed because you are gay?

Yes, but because I was perceived to be gay, not because I had actually admitted it. 

25. Worst gay stereotype that applies to you.

I’m reading this question to mean, “The gay stereotype that most applies to you.”  I like opera.

26. Ever been to a Pride Rally?

Yes, many, including one on “The Mall” in Washington, DC.


27. Would you marry if you could?

No. I think marriage is the most highly over-rated institution in the world.  I would only do it if it was the only way to get benefits for someone I love, or for us to get rights that we wouldn’t otherwise be able to get.

28. Would you rather be rich and smart or young and beautiful?

I value being smart the most, and it can really help in acquiring (or at least give the appearance of having) the other three.

29. Do you sculpt your eyebrows?

God no.

30. Do you trim your body?

Is this referring to your body hair, or actual slabs of skin?  I shave my face; that’s it.

31. Ever had sex with more than one person in a day?

Yes.

32. Ever been to an orgy?

I have been to a sex club where I’ve had sex with several people at once.  Is that considered “going to an orgy?”

33. Have you dated your best friends ex?

No. [And there should be an apostrophe in the word “friends” in this question.]

34. Would you vote for Hillary Clinton if she ran for president?

Yes.

35. Do you want monogamy in your relationships?

No.

36. Do you believe in true love?

I believe in love.  The “true” part, I find a little “dreamy.”  I’m not a dreamer.  I’m a practical kind of guy.

37. Do you have any tattoos?

No, but I know what and where I want to get one if I ever do.

38. Do you have any piercings?

I have a small in diameter, and very, very thin gold hoop earring in my left ear.  It is so subtle that I can’t tell you the number of people, who, after having known me for several years, will one day say, “Did you get your ear pierced?”

39. Would you date a smoker?

I don’t see that happening.

40. Do you get HIV tests every 6 months?

Yes, more or less.  Sometimes it’s a little longer than 6 months.

41. Do you know anyone who has died from HIV?

Yes, unfortunately.

42. Do you know what Stonewall was?

Yes; I had to read about it get my card.  And I’ve been, several times, to the Stonewall Inn (bar) on Christopher Street in NYC, where it all took place.


43. Wonder Woman, Xena or The Halliwell Sisters?

I don’t watch TV or see superhero movies, which I think covers the first two.  I don’t even know who those sisters are.

44. Strangest place you have had sex.

A bathroom stall, I suppose.

45. Strangest place you’ve woken up.

I don’t think I’ve ever woken up in a place that was any stranger than it was before I fell asleep.

46. Are your best years behind or in front of you?

Who knows what’s to come?  I know I’ve had an excellent life.  I love my life the way it is right now.  My hope is that that continues.  If I were to go tomorrow, though, one of my favorite quotes would sum it up: 

Late Fragment

And did you get what you wanted from this life even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth.

-Raymond Carver-

47. Favorite porn movie.

I’m not a big porn movie fan.  As long as the guys are “average Joe” and hairy, I’m happy.  A porn movie (or magazine for that matter) with all smooth, muscle men does nothing for me.

48. Are you in love now?

Does “in love” mean I’m walking around ga-ga about someone?  If so, no.  There is someone in my life whom I love deeply and from whom I get the things I need to feel deeply loved.  If that’s “in love,” then yes I am, deeply.  

49. Ever been in love with a straight guy/girl?
Yes, both.

50. Did you ever have sex with them?

With the woman, yes.  With the man, no — if I did, that would sort of make him “not straight,” wouldn’t it?

51. Have you ever been to a nude beach?

Yes, in St. Tropez, France, and in Provincetown, Massachusetts at the tip of Cape Cod.


“P-Town”

52. Have you ever been to a bath house?

Yes, but no baths were taken.

53. Ever had sex in public?

Yes, but not in Publix.

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