5 Wishes, virtual pastors, breakfast@Helios, and a flea market junket (emphasis on the junk)…

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In a recent post, I alluded to the importance of having your last wishes documented. I forgot to mention a most wonderful organization and place to get a document that will help you do this in the most comprehensive and expeditious manner. The “gist” of the document is outlined below. (It’s been described as The Living Will With a Heart and Soul.)

I know a lot of people think this is truly morbid thinking, but please stop and think about the gift this would be to the person who is going to have to agonize over wondering what you would have wanted in these situations if you don’t tell him or her. There’s enough emotional stress for that person just doing what they have to do, much less adding the stress of “I wonder if I did the right thing, or “what he or she would have wanted” on top of it all.

Five Wishes

My wish for:

  1. The person I want to make care decisions for me when I can’t.
  2. The kind of medical treatment I want or don’t want. Some sample things conveyed in this section:
    • What “life support treatment” means to me.
    • What to do in these various situations: close to death, in a coma and not expected to wake up or recover, permanent and severe brain damage and not expected to recover, and in another condition under which I do not wish to be kept alive.
  3. How comfortable I want to be. This section includes things like:
    • I do not want to be in pain. I want my doctor to give me enough medicine to relieve my pain, even if it means I will be drowsy or sleep more than I would otherwise.
    • If I show signs of depression, nausea, shortness of breath, or hallucinations, I want my care givers to do whatever they can to help me.
    • I wish to have warm baths often. I wish to be kept fresh and clean.
    • I want my lips and mouth kept moist to stop dryness.
    • I wish to have my favorite music played when possible until my time of death.
  4. How I want people to treat me. This section includes things like:
    • I wish to have people with me when possible. I want someone to be with me when it seems that death may come at any time.
    • I wish to have others by my side praying for me when possible.
    • I wish to be cared for with kindness and cheerfulness, and not sadness.
    • I wish to have my hand held and to be talked to when possible, even if I don’t seem to respond to the voice or touch of others.
    • I want to die in my home, if that can be done.
  5. What I want my loved ones to know. And, finally, this section includes things like:
    • I wish to have my family and friends know that I love them.
    • I wish to be forgiven for the times I have hurt my family, friends, and others know that I forgive them for when they may have hurt me in my life.
    • I wish for my family and friends to look at my dying as a time of personal growth for everyone, including me. This will help me live a meaningful life in my final days.
    • I wish for my family and friends to get counseling if they have trouble with my death. I want memories of my life to give them joy and not sorrow.
    • I want to be buried (or cremated), and I want my body or remains put in the following location ____.


You can order this document at www.agingwithdignity.org. I ordered enough for my whole family. Now getting them to fill it out is another matter entirely.

And now for something completely different, and very, very interesting conceptually. Perhaps you want a “virtual pastor” to preside over your funeral.

Virtual Pastors!

“It takes eighteen months for a congregation to fine tune their pastor so he becomes a perfect representation of what they want, he says. The shaping include gestures, physical appearance, personality, hobbies and sense of humor.”

“McReady and his programmers also like to throw random events into the pastor’s life, such as an unexpected crisis, decision or funny occurrence. A virtual pastor might walk on-screen one day and announce he is going on a diet to lose 35 pounds by Christmas. That theme plays out for the remainder of the year as he announces his progress week after week.”

“‘People can’t pin their problems on the pastor anymore,’ says an associate pastor who handles day-to-day matters at a Virtual Pastor church in Idaho. ‘He’s their creation. They can only blame themselves.'”

(Click on image for the entire story.)

I met Steve Nelson at Helios for breakfast, where we both lusted after Brian as he took our orders and just generally existed around the place.

As always, we had great conversation about a lot of things in life. His “new townhouse community” continues to have a cast of interesting characters, including the one named Travis who is straight, but sounds like a metrosexual at best. Steve wants me to come to one of their “impromptu block parties” one time to “assess the situation.” Could be fun.

I stopped by the flea market to look for a bench today only to confirm what I already know. I hate, hate, hate shopping. People have so much shit.

While walking around there, I found myself wondering, “Do we really need department stores with new stuff in it? There is so much stuff that can be ‘re-used’ in the world. One man’s junk is another man’s treasure, no?”

Dancing was a lot of fun tonight. We stayed afterwards, and we mostly hung out with the dancing crowd and drank way too much.

Bill and I got to laughing so long and so hard at one point that he said, “My cheeks hurt from laughing so much,” which of course, just cracked us up even more.

Bless (the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost) our mess.

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