| Today was going to be my last day at the office, with my official quit date being tomorrow. However, when it was all said and done, I didn’t get done what I wanted done, so I talked to Woody about “checking out” tomorrow at about 1:30.
Robert and I saw The Island, staged by The Little Green Pig Theatrical Concern, at Manbites Dog Theater. OMG. What great theater! And these three reviews attest to that: (1) Subject to a Higher Law: Little Green Pig Theatrical Concern Puts Us on The Island, (2) Effects, actors’ depth make a fantastic ‘Island’ go deep, and (3) A stirring take on Athol Fugard; a lively cover of Eric Bogosian . Only two days left! You can see it Friday night or Saturday night—tickets here. Oh yeah. How could I forget? @abbyladybug and @kitch were there, too! Woohoo! |
You know how much I love Prudie!
| Dear Prudence,
A few years ago my late husband and I made a video of ourselves. It features me performing oral sex on him. It isn’t particularly hard-core, we are in shadow, and there is no “money shot,” but it is obvious what is going on and who is involved. We had a wonderful marriage, and I enjoy watching this video and reminiscing every once in a while.
My question is, how can I prevent my children from looking at it after I die? I don’t want to destroy it, but I may not know when the end is coming. I can’t think of any way of labeling it, or even telling them what is on it and asking them not to peek, that would keep them from watching it just out of curiosity. If they did watch it, would it harm them or make them think less of their parents? —Keep It Private— |
| Dear Private, You do not have to deep-six your Deep Throat video, and it’s a tribute to the erotic robustness of your marriage that you have this memento and that it brings you pleasure. You’re right, we don’t necessarily know when the end is coming, but often we get a warning, and if you do, you should dispose of the video then. But otherwise, keep it in an envelope labeled “Private” that you store with other personal effects. You can put a letter around the video addressed to your children and tell them you don’t mean to sound tantalizing, but the video was just for you and your late husband, and if they are reading this letter, it means you weren’t able to destroy it before your death. Write that out of respect for their parents, you ask that they toss the video without watching it. After that, if they can’t resist this forbidden fruit, at least they’ve been warned of the knowledge that will come from partaking. If they look, your children will surely wish they had heeded that little voice that said, “You’re about to pop a ‘Mom and Dad Sex Video’ into the VCR,” but they will also never forget that their parents were really wild for each other. —Prudie— |
Thanks to a friend for alerting me to this story: Couple tie the knot at funeral home—Rachael Storm, the bride, said the location did “not creep me out at all.”
So I’ve gotten my new work’s e-mail account activated, and a first check of my e-mail reveals these subject lines in the Spam folder:
- Get a 12 inch pole, here’s how
- Lengthen your package easily, no side effects
- Boost your “ego” with our herbal solution
- re: Proven enlargement secret
- Amaze your girlfriends with a huge package
Of the other three items in the folder, one was about “a doctor’s recommended solution for most intimate male problems,” and the other two were for cheap Viagra and Cialis websites.
You talk to your new employees like that in their first e-mails? Nice!
The latest on the delegation for my trip to China: The “massage mutiny” is still “afoot,” with another person checking in:
“And although I deeply appreciate the efforts that go into this planning, will you hold it against me if I opt out on the foot massage thing, too?”
More affirmations on my Beehive Hive5 entry, “Five Reasons Why I’m Resigning from IBM,” which has now been viewed 556 times and has moved into the top 8 of the most read Hive5s of all time.
On September 10, 2008, At 10:06 AM EST, Duke Yaguchi said:
Hey I don’t know you but caught your hive5 on the buzz. Thanks for sharing your thoughts in beehive. I also like what you say on #5 as well. And I’m not sure our identity is by the friends we keep either. I think it is more along the lines of how and what we think and feel. Because someone on a deserted island still has an identity. Best of luck to you!
On September 10, 2008, At 10:17 AM EST, Gary Solomon said:
John, I wish you the best of luck and peace with your “independence”. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. A very poignant and positive way to sum things up for all to ponder.
Kind regards,
Gary Solomon
On September 10, 2008, At 10:25 AM EST, Linda Blake said:
Your topic caught my eye…be blessed that you have #1, a lot of people cant say that. Great insights and I wish you GodSpeed.
On September 11, 2008, At 8:03 AM EST, Kathy Beidler said:
John, I wish I could copy your Hive5 as mine, but alas I must continue striving toward your #1… maybe next year. The best to you in what ever the future holds. KathyB
On September 11, 2008, At 11:47 AM EST, Rita Palanjian said:
The title was an attention getter. Thanks for sharing your insights and wisdom. Best of luck to you. And keep on believing! God Bless.
On September 11, 2008, At 1:23 PM EST, Lise Heroux said:
Thanks for your candor John, and for sharing this.
My best to you as you embark on whatever adventure comes next! Enjoy! 🙂
On September 11, 2008, At 6:07 PM EST, John Martin said:
Thanks, Duke, Gary, Linda, Kathy, Rita, and Lise! You’re very kind. Best of luck in your continued careers here!
Oh my goodness another one of these is going to be in order:
Here are a bunch of regular e-mail wishes I received; that is, these have nothing to do with my Hive5, they’re just from people I’ve worked with or interacted with over the years.
John,
Hey! I would ask how you’re doing, but from your note it seems that you’re doing well :o) Your honesty and jokes made ITIM bearable. What will you do now that IBM won’t be your part time gig? It was a pleasure working with you. Best of luck with your future endeavors.
Thanks,
Qiana N. Eaglin, MBA
Well, we’ll miss you, but I’m sure I’ll see you again, some time, some where. LICK! xodawggie.
Paul Carey
Good for you! I’m sure I’ll never again have a cul-de-sac neighbor quite as much fun as you were. Work can be so stuffy without a bit of adventure thrown in on occasion.
So off you go! Godspeed to you. I wish you adventures aplenty!
Viel Glück,
Debbie Rose
Hi John,
I am so envious. I hope you have a blast! It’s been great knowing you and sharing coffee on occasion. I’m sad that won’t be a possibility in the future. Hope all your dreams come true and you enjoy your new found financial freedom. And let me know what you invested in that provided this new found freedom. 🙂
Thanks, Grazie, Cheers, Danke, Dziekuje, Dekui, Go Raibh Maith Agat
Lisa
Well, well, well….”financially independent”. I do declare!
John, I really enjoyed working with you. Congratulations on achieving your independence! Have a great life! I’ll probabl stop by your blog occasionally!
Jennifer Kennedy
Congratulations!!!!! Lucky you.
Jeanette Holsclaw
Wow! Congratulations! Enjoy your non-IBM life! 🙂 Does that mean there is an opening for a technical editor? 🙂
Cheers,
Michelle [Corbin]
Good-bye? What’s up?
you ok?
you can contact me at beach4life@gmail.com
Bob Graczyk
OMG!!!! WTF!!!!
Wow.
I’m so happy for you but I’m also very sad. You will be missed immensely.
Take good care my friend. And do stay in touch.
Much love.
adam [brackman]
I’ll miss you dude. You’re a really good editor ( and diplomatic as well ;-). I learned a lot from our last edit.
But have a great retirement, etc. I totally envy you.
E[ric Nelson]
Financially independent, lucky you!!
Best of luck. Maybe we’ll cross paths again some day. You need to come visit me in London!
[Jim Zalles]
John, I wish you the very best, and hope you don’t get too bored outside of IBM. I know you won’t be spending your time watching TV, so I imagine your creative efforts will be focused elsewhere. Wherever that is, I’m sure you’ll have a ball. If you’re ever up in the MD/DC area . . .
Paul Noga
John,
I just wanted to wish you the best in your new professional life! I remember you mentioning sometime last year that a director opening for an NCSU association/program caught your eye. Is that what you’ll be doing?
I’ll keep tabs on you via your blog. Until we meet again, good luck and take care.
–Andrew [Jones]
John – Just wanted to welcome you to the leisurely world of ex-IBMers. Congratulations on your financial independence! Sounds great. Enjoy your free time. Any big plans? I’m sure you do.
Good luck!
Jill [Balogh]
John,
It is wonderful to be able to say that! 🙂 Thank you for the cheery face, all the laughter and of course, the pop corn! 😉
Best wishes for a great life after IBM… as I’m sure you will definitely be enjoying life without the politics, the PBCs, the ranking, etc…. Take good care of yourself and keep smiling (for me!) 😀
Regards,
Lan Sharps
From: Dan O’Dea [sentiments in an e-card]
Have a very happy retirement, John! I wish you the best of luck.
So you dont have to work for the rest of your life ?!? wow !! and I read you lived in NC, where I went to school 😉
( I did not get the reference to quality inn or hampton inn though)
I saw Margaret ‘s comment to say good bye and since I hold her in high esteem , i am joining her!
Best regards / Bien à vous/ Üdvözlettel
Sonia ABECASSIS , MBA, CBM®
Congratulations, John! I’m so jealous…
/kate [bowerman]
OMG……
1. am sorry to see you go
2..what a pile of crock steering wheel etc. sorry thats just me laughing at he phrases.
make sure you let me know all email thing etc. I want you to come over again.
[Michael Edwards]
John, best wishes to you as you exit Big Blue! Don’t we all wish we were in your shoes…
Thanks for your help with editing our complex products – that sure wasn’t an easy task.
Take care.
Lisa [Zinna]
Good luck and enjoy your retirement!!
Best regards,
Paula Cross
Hi John,
That was quite an unexpected news. But, as someone said “The only constant thing in life is change!”
I have thoroughly enjoyed working with you. Although, we have interacted with each other only through e-mails (and of course through review comments), I will miss the pleasure of working with you. Your thorough review comments have always helped me immensely to improve the quality of documentation.
I wish you all the very best for all your future endeavors.
Best regards,
Shruti [Bhole, from Bangalore, India]
Hey John,
I doubt you remember me, but I saw your Hive-5 and wanted to say thanks for all your efforts with EAGLE.
I was an active EAGLE member from ’01 to ’04, and I left when I had just had enough with the bad behavior of the majority of the members. Your contributions were always positive, and I really appreciated what you brought to the group.
Congrats on your decision to move on. I definitely identify with all the points you listed.
I hope your future endeavors, whatever they may be, bring you joy!
Dan Perkins
Mr Independent,
Good luck with yet-another stage of your life…
–kevan [Miller]
John, I am so so so envious. Glad to hear you are escaping this environment for more hospitable pastures. Did you complete your education? Are you moving on to something else? What are your plans post-IBM? What is your outside email address?
Annette Bradford
John-
Saw your beehive and had some questions for you…
Have you really been with IBM for 28 years? Based on your picture you must look very young for your age or you started here when you were 15!
This is a personal question but how much net worth does one need to get to “financially independent”? I’m looking to get there myself but with 3 kids and the stock market performance of the last 5 years I think it’s going to take me awhile.
Thanks and good luck to you,
Mike [Gerard, PhD]
I stopped back at IBM after the play in Durham, and when I left right at midnight, I stopped by Flex‘s Trailer Park Prize Night. When I got home, which I had left at one in the afternoon, there on my doorstep, on the mat, leaning against the door, in the brightness of my front porch light, sat glistening a FedEx package with my visa-stamped passport on it!
Okay, I had to pay these people $22 to FedEx that thing back to me, and they can’t even check the delivery option such that someone would have to sign to receive it? Who thinks it’s a good idea to leave a valid passport out in someone’s yard where it might not be seen for god knows how many hours? Ridiculous!