~Monday~ This morning brought who I’ve referred to before in the past as Madonna and Child aboard the bus. She’s the mother with the Genetics notebook and the adorable little bi-racial daughter with the absolute most adorable face and precocious hair. I think I’m going to refer to them as Mother and Genetically-Beautiful Daughter from here on out.
They were already on when I got on the bus, and they got off at the stop after mine, which of course drives me crazy wondering why. They didn’t look like they’d been up all night, and I guess, for me, it’s just hard to imagine having been up long enough by 8:15 in the morning to be coming home from somewhere.
I spent all morning at work working on my portion of a proposed presentation to be reviewed at an 11:00 meeting. After that, I spent a good chunk of the afternoon fleshing out what my colleague Sarah and I had come up with to that point.
I spent the early part of the afternoon, right after lunch, working on the agenda for the upcoming UITC meeting—putting a call out for subcommittee and topical reports, along with incorporating incoming items into the draft agenda.
At 6:25, I walked over to Mitch’s Tavern for Salon IV. These meetings continue to be absolutely amazing—if laughter is indeed good for your health, we get at least a year’s dose of it at each of our meetings. Tonight’s agenda included, but was not limited to:
- Personal theme music—if you were the star of a movie, and it opened with you walking up a street toward the audience, what music would be accompanying the scene?*
- Parents’ favorite topics to turn to on the phone when it gets silent.
- “Yogis can’t write.”
- 1001 Book to Read Before You Die. Really???
- The proverbial bus
- Counter Culture Weekly Cuppings
- What’s in Your Purse or Wallet?
- Swedish pornography—original or dubbed
- The View
- The “clinical name” of the 69 sex position, or as expressed on an SAT test: “________ is to 69 as fellatio is to blow job.”
- Field of mathematics used to measure the increase in area affected by projectile vomiting from the celestial version of the swings at the fair versus the terrestrial version of the swings at the fair.
*Became a homework assignment.
Sound bites of the night:
- She’s an “excuse factory.”
- Omaging
- “pornomatopoeia”—interpreting what you’re seeing, hearing, or reading through a paradigm of porn
- Getting the dinosaurs out of Sarah’s purse for a visualization of how the difference between oral-genital sex and kissing is simply a matter of whether you’re lying head-to-toe or toe-to-toe (and therefore head-to-head)
- The “typical” proverbial bus is a prompt to discuss your “business continuity plan.”
- “He can make power saws do things.”
- “I’m the one in the helmet.”
- If your name was followed by an appositive, what would it be?*
- Is sex stressful or a relief?
- Anna’s young, young child’s first venture into the mens room with her father, sitting up on his shoulder leaning forward to look down, while he leans back to keep her from seeing while he urinates, and when she finally does get a look down says, “You pee in the sink?” Introduction to new vocabulary word—urinal—followed.
- “Amusement parks don’t amuse me.”
*Became a homework assignment.