Howling Cow Eggnog, ‘tween cards, visions of shitplums, and a nap that nobody cares about…

~Friday, Christmas Eve~  I got up at 10:00 today, and after browning some sausage to make a dip for Robert, I used some of the extra portion to make myself a sausage and cheddar scramble. It was quite the yummy with some coffee—and a nice holiday breakfast treat, as I actually left the yolks in the eggs. I chased the whole thing with some NC State Howling Cow Eggnog, also a holiday treat.

For the next several hours I worked frantically writing out greeting cards, starting with those who had already sent me one as first priority. I finished with what I was going to get done today, which represented perhaps one-fourth of the number I usually send, and I put one Holiday Evergreen Forever Stamp on each one. Before heading to the post office, I separated them into the following piles:

  1. A pile of about five that are set to go; that is, I’m positive that they require no additional postage.
  2. A pile of a smaller-sized cards, in which I’ve enclosed one of my holiday letters, one of which I need to have weighed to see if they’re fine with the one stamp or all need a little extra postage.
  3. A pile of larger-sized cards, in which I’ve also enclosed my tome, one of which needs to be weighed to see if those need extra postage.
  4. A birthday card, in which I’ve enclosed a little birthday gift, which needs to be weighed to see if it needs extra postage.

Let me ask you a question. Do you see Friday, December 24, 2010 on this list?


Neither do I, which would explain the look on my face—and the annoyance in my blood pressure—when I arrived at the Avent Ferry Post Office at about 1:30 to find it closed. I think the two other people that practically banged their head into the glass door expecting it to open felt the same way. WTF???

Knowing this little tidbit would have dramatically changed the focus of my morning. I guess all of my holiday cards are going to be ‘tween cards, going out on Monday, December 27th. Bah Humbug.


In a continued trend of my visions of sugarplums for today turning into visions of shitplums, I called Goodberry’s Creamery to see what time they were closing today, as Robert and I had plans to go there after our dinner at K&W Cafeteria to use up that last Groupon I have for them, which expires on Tuesday.

They said they were closing at 6:00, which made me think I’d better check in with K&W, as we’d planned to arrive there at 4:00 to have an early dinner before our dessert at Goodberry’s. Good thing I did. “We’re closing at 4:00,” they said.

This lead me to try another place I have a Groupon for, Two Guys Ameritalian on Hillsborough Street, where at 2:30 the lady answering the phone said, “We’re going to close either at 3:00 or 6:00. We’ve had not one single customer today,” she went on, “So we’re thinking of just closing at 3:00.”

That answer is so not helpful to a customer who’s planning to arrive there at 4:00 for an early dinner. Customer? What’s that?

When I told her as much—that we were planning on coming at 4:00, not that her answer wasn’t helpful, which I’m surprised I didn’t go into, as I’m all about giving feedback—I didn’t get any kind of encouragement about our plans. After an awkward silence to my proclamation, I said, “Well, I guess we’ll just call before heading over there at 4:00 to see what you’ve decided.” Don’t hold your collective breath.

I tried three other places—one that didn’t answer, and two that said they were closing at 4:00. Shitplums, I tell you.

Robert arrived at 4:00 and was a good sport about just riding around to see what was open. We were both fine with fast food, and Robert mentioned that Chinese places were usually open around this time, which we all know because of this:


Neither of us was really up for that, so we settled on Burger King. Imagine our surprise to find even that closed.

We rode over to Cameron Village, since that’s where we were heading for our dessert at Goodberry’s before 6:00, and it looked like the Village Draft House was open, as there were people sitting at two different tables—outside in the cold, no less—with beer bottles on their table.

However, there was a sign on the door that said, “We’re closed today. We’ll reopen tomorrow night at 6PM.” I guess those folks were either the end of the customers they were serving today, or perhaps they were some of the employees enjoying a holiday drink together before all taking off.

On the way there, we’d seen people around Player’s Retreat, at the corner of Hillsborough Street and Oberlin Road, and there were holiday lights lit up along the front of it, so we tried there. Bingo. We had the nicest and most attentive and efficient waiter, to whom I said when we were first seated, “Thank you for being open!”

Robert had their Reuben Sandwich, and I had their Ham & Swiss Club after first ordering their Fish & Chips, but having the waiter to return apologizing profusely that the batter wasn’t yet ready in which to cook the fish. The Club turned out to be delicious, so no complaints here.

At Goodberry’s afterwards, we both enjoyed a Vanilla Concrete with Butterscotch Syrup for our frozen custard selection, and as always, it was out of this world. At one point, Robert felt a sneeze coming on and he ran to an area of the place where he thought there’d be some napkins, but by the time he found them, as he approached the holder he couldn’t wait anymore and sneezed all over the entire napkin holder and the one sticking out to grab next. It was all very unintentional, and it just cracked me up. Thank you for trying to be considerate of others, my sweet!


Back at my place with our tummy’s full, we exchanged gifts, and I was—to no one’s surprise, least of all mine—totally delighted with one of the items from my wishlist:


Thank you, my sweet!


After Robert headed back to Durberville, I checked for light leaks for a couple of hours, before making myself get up so I could go back to sleep later. This is so great: When I searched for that link in the previous sentence, a link for “took a nap” to associate with “checked for light leaks,” I came across this Google search result: Nobody cares that you took a nap today, really. Touché!

There are promises (that I consider threats) of a white Christmas tomorrow, which sounds nice in theory, but in practicality will be a nightmare, particularly for those of us traveling. I usually leave Greenville at about 3 or 4:00 to head back to Raleigh. The snow is now predicted to start in Raleigh at around 4:00. We’ll see how all that plays out, not forgetting that #2 (with #1 being the most) on the list of The 6 Most Statistically Full of Shit Professions is Weather Forecasters. I’m not sure how scientific a study was done to determine that so take that with a flake of snow.

I would say that the stockings are hung by the chimney with care, but there are no stockings and I have no chimney. What I will say is that I’m retiring this evening with a full, warmed heart and looking forward to being with my sister, her husband, and my parents tomorrow.

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