Our month on Cape Cod—day 4

~Tuesday~ Another successful work day. We experienced a short, mid-afternoon power outage, but fortunately, I had recently saved the document I was working in, so I lost very little work. This is the second outage we’ve had since we arrived. The first one was the first day, and it was in the middle of the night, so no harm done. Hopefully it won’t be a “regular” thing. UPDATE: Large power outage affecting the Outer Cape

Bob explored a little more today, taking a walk to the closest coast. Where we are in Eastham is a just a tad bit closer to the west coast of the Cape than the east coast, so he went west, following a sign for Cooks Brook Beach.

He passed some “rainbow art”:

before reaching the beach:

You know who left those footprints all over the place, right?

We bought some eggnog at the Stop & Shop on Sunday, and we used some of it to make eggnog martinis for happy hour tonight. Good stuff.

Here’s the recipe:

A dear friend from high school, who now lives in Maine, was in touch today, and we’ve made plans to see each other while we’re here. So excited.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 3

~Monday~ I found the local classical station, Classical 107.5 WFCC (“Cape Classical”) to listen to on the radio during my editing day. So far it’s pretty good. It’s nice to know, too, that at any time, I can tune in to my “home” classical station, 89.7 WCPE, which streams on the internet 24 hours a day.

Funny thing related to this, when we first got here, driving up the Cape, I remember thinking how “small town” the entire Cape is and thinking about what it might be like living here, and I thought, “There’d be no symphony or opera here for entertainment, for sure.” But, lo and behold, one of the first things I heard when I turned on “Cape Classical” was an ad for the upcoming Symphony Spoooktacular sponsored by none other than the Cape Symphony! So much for preconceived notions.

We solved the mystery as to whether this “fan-like appliance” in the upstairs hallway was a fan, a humidifier, or a dehumidifier.

It’s actually a Whirlpool Whispure 510 air purifier. You know you wanted to know.

My first day working from here was smooth sailing—I started at 7:30 and quit at 4:30.

During his day, Bob took a walk around the area checking out the businesses that are within walking distance of us, which include The General Store (red sign to the left), a U.S. Post Office (in the middle), and a Ben & Jerry’s (to the right). Not pictured, but just around the side of Ben & Jerry’s is a Dunkin’ doughnut place.

There are several others businesses, too, including the Cumberland Farms convenience store we walked to on our first night here, a liquor store, and several restaurants, including a couple of seafood places and a deli.

After work, we walked together to check out Willy’s Gym, 0.4 of a mile from our place, to see what kind of temporary (month-long) memberships they might offer, and how it was being managed for safety during the pandemic.

It’s a decent place; it even includes a pool, but it’s $140 each for a month, and that’s not going to work. That’s a year and 2 months each in Planet Fitness value. $280 is way too much for a month just to access an elliptical machine, which is all we’ll use there. I mean we only paid $500 to buy our own elliptical machine at home!

Upon returning home, we did our daily USA Today Crossword Puzzle online and had happy hour. Rituals. Comforting.

I texted the owner this evening to help us figure out how to get the DVD player working and how to access Netflix from this entertainment center setup, because we couldn’t get it to work. It turned out a third remote was needed that was in one of the bedrooms instead of in the living room where it was needed.

So, Bob is back in business tonight for his movie and TV watching, and I’ll start on my next book club book. Life is good.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 2

~Sunday~ Since we fell asleep so early last night, we got up at 5 a.m.

I checked out the upstairs, which I hadn’t done yesterday, and I was delighted to find that there was another “desk” (which I put in quotes, because it was the same as the one downstairs and is really just a hard plastic table), and I decided to set up my “office” up there. It’s the room with the bunk beds in it.

At just before 10 a.m., we headed out to the nearest “big city” (Orleans, MA), to shop at a TJ Maxx for a couple of non-grocery items (e.g., an ice bin to put in the freezer to hold ice cubes, some measuring spoons, and a kitchen sink stopper) and the Stop & Shop grocery store, which turned out to be right next door to the TJ Maxx.

Back at the house, I put together my workstation to be ready to use first thing in the morning. Success:

Bob put the groceries away and did a hundred other things to make this house our own, such as re-organizing the kitchen to have things where he wants them and to store away things we’re not going to use (like a Keurig coffee machine), sweeping the deck, organizing a messy storage area under the stairs, and figuring out how the electric fireplace works.

We actually had a visitor this afternoon, David, who lives here—nearby and year-round—and is a business partner of the owner, and who was so nice! He wanted to let us know that there is a water main issue with the next-door laundry facility that’s supposed to be available to us while we’re here and that we are welcome to use his washer and dryer at any time.

Bob followed him over to his place, where he showed him how to access his laundry area, which is accessible without entering his home, and how the machines work. Bob got to know him a little bit during their time together, and it turns out he’s gay (and used to live in San Francisco with his now-deceased partner), and he told us that there’s a Lesbian couple staying nearby. We’re everywhere.

We tried to figure out, to no avail, the TV/DVD player set-up, and we’ll text the owner about that tomorrow.

Bob brought fresh jalapeños from our yard with us and made “poppers” with them as our dinner appetizer tonight, and they were most delicious—as always.

Hopes and dreams for tomorrow

  1. Me: Work my first day from here.
  2. Bob: Take a walk around the area.

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Our month on Cape Cod—day 1

~Saturday~ Since I’ll continue working remotely through at least the end of the year, my husband (Bob) and I are opting for a change of scenery. We’ve rented a little place on Cape Cod for a month!

I’ll work Mondays through Thursdays and take off Fridays during this time. For Friday day trips, P-town is about 35 minutes north of us and Hyannis is about 35 minutes south of us—with its ferries to Nantucket and Martha’s Vineyard. You might be renting a place in New England if one of the kitchen amenities listed is a lobster pot!

I also have extended family in Fall River, MA; Westport, MA; Swansea, MA; Assonet, MA; and Tiverton, RI (all within about an hour-and-a-half of us) who we’ll try to safely visit during our month here, since none of them have ever met Bob.

This is the first of daily blog entries I’ll make to remember our experience.

Departing Raleigh, NC

We had our alarm set for 3 a.m., but at 2:20, we both realized neither of us was going to fall back asleep, so we just got up, had some cottage cheese for breakfast, finished packing the very few things we didn’t pack last night, and got on the road some time between 3:30 and 4:00.


Reason #263 that it’s a good thing neither of us has kids, because there really wouldn’t have been room for any of their stuff. The car was packed to the gills.

Maximum trunk space used

Maximum back seat spaced use

Just enough space for Bob to sit in the passenger seat


Bob had planned food for us to eat en route, and the highlight was peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and homemade banana bread. We enjoyed this at a rest area in Maryland at about 9:13. It seems early for a lunch, but since we’d started out at 3 in the morning, it was apropos.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches

Individually wrapped homemade banana bread slices


The trip was fairly uneventful. We did have a little confusion at times between what route Google Maps was telling us to take vs. what our AAA Trip Tik was telling us to take vs. just staying on I-95 North the whole way.

We made 3 stops along the way, and we were surprised, and pleased, at the vast majority of people that were wearing masks at the rest stops and gas stations.


The tolls situation was less than ideal. Once getting north of Virginia, there were more tolls than we’d anticipated, and some of them ended up not collecting, some of them had cash-only lanes, and some of them were designated as “pay-by-mail” tolls.

The first toll road we approached had all the signs intact about stopping to pay your toll, but when we got to the booth, it said to just keep on going. We didn’t know if they weren’t collecting tolls because it was Saturday, or because they didn’t want to staff the booth because of COVID-19, or what.

Getting on the New Jersey Turnpike, the “NO EZ-Pass” lane we got in flashed yellow lights (from green) after we’d already chose the lane, and when we got to the booth, it wasn’t staffed, and a digital sign flashed: “No tag scanned. Keep moving.” Our booth/lane looked just like the 2 on either side of it at which we saw a driver take a ticket from a machine as they went through. Since there was no machine from which to take a ticket at ours, we just kept going and no one chased us or stopped us. At the end of the turnpike—I’m pretty sure we went the entirety of it—I told the cashier we didn’t get a ticket, but that we’d entered at the Delaware Bridge, and she charged us $18 and some change, which was the price indicated for a “lost ticket.” Whatever.

There were definitely more tolls than we anticipated. We paid $18.85 to go over that unimpressive George Washington Bridge, on which they could use some of the money they’re collecting to repave, if you ask us.

And a few of the toll booths were pay-by-mail booths where they scanned our plates, I guess. We’re concerned that we’re not going to see our mail for over a month. We need to look up how long you have to pay them before they start accruing late fees or fines. We can’t even ask our neighbors to be on the watch for them, because our mail is being held at the post office until Nov. 14.


We did hit a highly annoying snag on I-95N through NY, where we experienced bumper-to-bumper traffic for about 45 minutes to an hour. And it was one of those situations where traffic would just come to a crawl or stop for no obvious reason whatsoever. After some time, it would pick back up—with no accident or any other thing in sight that might explain the slowdown—and then again after some time slow down again for no apparent reason. At what point we said:

Really? Bumper-to-bumper traffic? On an interstate? On a Saturday? During a pandemic?


We arrived at about 4:30 p.m., which was 13 or 13.5 hours after we left. I’m not sure how this tripmeter on our car calculates time, but it seems to be an hour or so off. The mileage seems correct, as Google maps estimated between 761 and 821 miles.


Because we were ready for a celebratory drink after a day on the road, the first thing we did was set up the bar in the place and have a toast to the start of our month-long adventure.

Then we took a short walk to the Cumberland Farms convenient store super close to our place to buy some ice, and we each got an ice cream treat. (Me, an ice cream sandwich; and Bob, a Cumberland Farmhouse black raspberry chocolate ice cream sandwich.)

There were two (frozen, Red Barron, pepperoni) pizzas left in the fridge, and we had one of those for dinner after checking with the owner that it was okay to eat them.

Bob made up our bed, and I laid down on it at about 8:30 and started reading a book on my phone on Libby. The next thing I knew, it was 5:00 in the morning Sunday.

Hopes and dreams for tomorrow

  1. Take a ride to see the area.
  2. Drive to the nearest “big” town, which is Orleans, MA, to its Stop and Shop grocery store and TJ Maxx store.
  3. Bob to unpack and put away everything in our house.
  4. John to set up each of our personal computers and then set up his workstation, including a printer provided by the owners.
  5. John to devise our daily blog entry.

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Clip art journey

We both use sweatbands for our daily elliptical machine workouts and we hang them on the clothes rack with these clips.

Hanging on the clothes rack

Each day, Bob lays out 3 clips for me to use after my workout, and one day, he started making “clip art” from them1 They remind me of the “towel art” on cruises.

1What do you mean your significant other doesn’t lay out your clothespins for you?

I’ve given each piece of “art” a title, and I’m going to keep adding any more that might appear. They’re in the order of newest to oldest.

The elliptical machine is that-a-way
(liberty taken with the number of clips for this one)

Switching it up

Hanging around on the hanging lamp

A fan favorite


Getting some on the side (table)

Hibbidy, hibbidy, hibbidgee

What a pane

Handling it

All tucked in

Ready for bed

Coaster clipping

The queen’s clips

The erection set

Let me go

The uterus

It’s gossip time

Get in line

The roundabout

Fork ahead

Merge ahead


The peace sign

2019 books read

I have a goal to increase the number of books I read each year. In 2018, I read 26 books. This year, I read 29.


Here are some fun facts about the books I read in 2019:

Cost and sources
I spent $0.00 in 2019 for the 29 books I read this year. The source of my books included:

  • 21 borrowed from the Wake County Public Library (including regular-print, large-print, e-book, and audiobook editions)
  • 6 as free downloads from amazon.com via BookBub
  • 2 from Books at Amazon—1 as a free download and 1 that I paid $2.17 for back in 2017

Favorites/least favorites

Abandoned books
In addition to the 29 books I read this year, I abandoned 4:

Book club books
6 of the 29 books I read as part of The Mostly Social Book Club that I’m in:

Author diversity

  • 12 male writers
  • 15 female writers
  • 1 non-binary writer

New authors
26 of the authors I read this year, I was reading for the first time:

Albert Camus, Clive Barker, David Levithan, Delia Owens, Elin Hilderbrand, Emma Jameson, Franny Moyle, Garrard Conley, Gemma Jackson, Greer Hendricks, Haruki Murakami, Jacob Tobia, Jacquie Underdown, Jason Mott, Jeff Shelby, Judy Blume, Kevin Allison, Liane Moriarty, Marlene Wagman-Geller, Michelle Obama, Shayne Parkinson, Silk White, Stephen Chbosky, Tara Conklin, Will Schwalbe, Simon Winchester

Repeat authors
I’d read at least one other book by 2 of the authors of the books I read this year:

Most ambitious month
In September, I read 5 books:


  • Nonfiction: 8
  • Fiction: 21
  • Others: autobiography, biography, books about books, chick lit, classics, contemporary, French culture, Japanese culture, fantasy, feminism, history, horror, humanities, Irish culture, language, LGBT, literature, literary fiction, magical realism, memoir, mystery, paranormal, philosophy, queer, romance, science fiction, short stories, suspense, thriller, womens fiction, writing, young adult

Shortest / longest

Number of books read by pages

  • 7% (2 books) with fewer than 200 pages
  • 21% (6 books) with between 200-299 pages
  • 41% (12 books) with between 300-399 pages
  • 28% (8 books) with between 400-499 pages
  • 3% (1 book) with more than 500 pages

The 29 books I read in 2019—summary

Clicking on the title of a book will take you to its detailed entry below, which contains a description of the book and some thoughts I had about it.

Title Author Pages Duration Rating Genres
Two Henrys Kevin Allison 35 01/04/19 – 01/06/19 (3 days) 4 stars nonfiction, short stories, LGBT, queer
1Q84 Haruki Murakami 1318 01/07/19 – 01/23/19 (17 days) 5 stars fiction, fantasy, science fiction, magical realism, Japanese culture
A Spool of Blue Thread Anne Tyler 358 01/28/19 – 02/10/19 (14 days) 3 stars fiction, contemporary, literary fiction
Nine Perfect Strangers Liane Moriarty 453 02/09/19 – 02/14/19 (6 days) 3 stars fiction, contemporary, womens fiction
Becoming Michelle Obama 428 02/24/19 – 04/28/19 (63 days) 5 stars nonfiction, autobiography, memoir
The Last Romantics Tara Conklin 368 02/15/19 – 05/21/19 (96 days) 5 stars fiction, contemporary
Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story Jacob Tobia 336 06/09/19 – 06/19/19 (11 days) 5 stars nonfiction, autobiography, memoir, LGBT, queer
The Murder Pit Jeff Shelby 326 05/19/19 – 06/23/19 (36 days) 3 stars fiction, mystery
Constance: The Tragic and Scandalous Life of Mrs. Oscar Wilde Franny Moyle 336 06/08/17 – 06/26/19 (2 years, 19 days) 4 stars nonfiction, biography, history
The Professor & the Madman: A Tale of Murder, Insanity & the Making of the Oxford English Dictionary Simon Winchester 288 06/27/19 – 07/03/19 (7 days) 5 stars nonfiction, history, biography, humanities, language, writing, books about books
The Wife Between Us Greer Hendricks 416 07/07/19 – 07/14/19 (8 days) 4 stars fiction, thriller, mystery, suspense
The Stranger Albert Camus 123 07/16/19 – 07/18/19 (3 days) 5 stars fiction, classics, philosophy, French culture, literature
The Perks of Being a Wallflower Stephen Chbosky 222 07/19/19 – 07/23/19 (5 days) 5 stars fiction, young adult, contemporary
One Plus One Jojo Moyes 369 07/25/19 – 08/02/19 (9 days) 4 stars fiction, contemporary, romance, womens fiction, adult
Winter in Paradise Elin Hilderbrand 320 08/10/19 – 08/11/19 (2 days) 5 stars fiction, womens fiction, mystery
Summer Sisters Judy Blume 416 08/24/19 – 08/25/19 (2 days) 4 stars fiction, womens fiction, young adult, romance
The Secrets Mothers Keep Jacquie Underdown 266 09/02/19 – 09/04/19 (3 days) 5 stars fiction, womens fiction
Never Be The Same Silk White 210 09/08/19 – 09/08/19 (1 days) 4 stars fiction, mystery, African American
Boy Erased: A Memoir of Identity, Faith, and Family Garrard Conley 340 09/10/19 – 09/19/19 (10 days) 5 stars nonfiction, biography, autobiography, memoir, LGBT, queer
The Wonder of All Things Jason Mott 400 09/20/19 – 09/21/19 (2 days) 5 stars fiction, fantasy, paranormal, contemporary
Two Boys Kissing David Levithan 200 09/23/19 – 09/23/19 (1 days) 5 stars fiction, young adult, romance, contemporary, LGBT, queer
Abarat Clive Barker 393 09/24/19 – 10/09/19 (16 days) 3 stars fiction, young adult, fantasy, horror
Marriage Can Be Murder Emma Jameson 282 10/10/19 – 10/15/19 (6 days) 3 stars fiction, historical fiction, mystery
Behind Every Great Man: Women in the Shadows of History’s Alpha Males Marlene Wagman-Geller 369 10/17/19 – 10/23/19 (7 days) 4 stars nonfiction, women, history, feminism, short stories
Sentence of Marriage Shayne Parkinson 415 10/10/19 – 10/29/19 (20 days) 5 stars fiction, historical fiction, romance
What Happens in Paradise Elin Hilderbrand 432 10/30/19 – 11/03/19 (5 days) 5 stars fiction, womens fiction
The End of Your Life Book Club Will Schwalbe 336 11/04/19 – 11/09/19 (6 days) 5 stars nonfiction, biography, autobiography, memoir, writing, books about books
Where the Crawdads Sing Delia Owens 384 12/19/19 – 12/20/19 (2 days) 5 stars fiction, historical fiction, mystery
Through Streets Narrow and Broad Gemma Jackson 464 12/27/19 – 12/30/19 (4 days) 5 stars fiction, historical fiction, Irish culture

The 29 books I read in 2019—details

Book cover Book: Two Henrys Author: Kevin Allison
Pages: 35 Duration: 01/04/19 – 01/06/19 (3 days)
Rating: 4 stars Genres: nonfiction, short stories, LGBT, queer
Coming out can be awkward enough—let alone coming out in the 1970s, in Ohio, as a Catholic schoolboy. In this fearless and funny true story, the host and founder of the hit podcast RISK! shares all. From first grade through junior high, twelve-year-old Kevin and his best friend, Ben, were inseparable. But when Kevin divulged his biggest secret, Ben froze him out. The pint-size cold war lasted two years—until they went head-to-head for student council president. Team Ben’s smear campaign began. The school took sides. And Kevin decided to run with it.
Just a short, fun, little read. If you’re queer and have been in the closet or come out, you’re sure to relate to this short narrative. If you’re straight, you might gain some insight into why it’s such a big deal to the person, especially a kid, going through it all.

Book cover Book: 1Q84 Author: Haruki Murakami
Pages: 1318 Duration: 01/07/19 – 01/23/19 (17 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, fantasy, magical realism, Japanese culture, science fiction
The year is 1984 and the city is Tokyo. A young woman named Aomame follows a taxi driver’s enigmatic suggestion and begins to notice puzzling discrepancies in the world around her. She has entered, she realizes, a parallel existence, which she calls 1Q84 – Q is for “A world that bears a question.” A love story, a mystery, a fantasy, a novel of self-discovery, a dystopia to rival George Orwell is Haruki Murakami’s most ambitious undertaking yet: an instant best seller in his native Japan, and a tremendous feat of imagination from one of our most revered contemporary writers.
This was a challenging read for me, not because of its length, but because it contains elements of—as enumerated in its genre list—fantasy, magical realism, and science fiction, none of which do I care for. However, it’s a compelling enough story that kept raising questions that I wanted to know the answers to, which kept me reading. And not unlike The Goldfinch, which I read last year, I felt a real sense of accomplishment when I finished reading its 1318 pages.

Book cover Book: A Spool of Blue Thread Author: Anne Tyler
Pages: 358 Duration: 01/28/19 – 02/10/19 (14 days)
Rating: 3 stars Genres: fiction, contemporary, literary fiction
The Whitshanks are one of those families that radiate togetherness: an indefinable, enviable kind of specialness. But they are also like all families, in that the stories they tell themselves reveal only part of the picture. Abby and Red and their four grown children have accumulated not only tender moments, laughter, and celebrations, but also jealousies, disappointments, and carefully guarded secrets. from Red’s father and mother, newly-arrived in Baltimore in the 1920s, to Abby and Red’s grandchildren carrying the family legacy boisterously into the twenty-first century, here are four generations of Whitshanks, their lives unfolding in and around the sprawling, lovingly worn Baltimore house that has always been their anchor.
Surprisingly, this was one of my least favorite books of the year. There just wasn’t anything remarkable that happened to the characters in this story. And although that’s probably representative of a lot of people’s lives, it just didn’t make for very interesting reading to me. One reviewer, who regularly gives Anne Tyler high marks, pretty well summed up my sense of it: “It recycles virtually every theme and major plot she has used in the past and does so in the most perfunctory manner imaginable. A disappointing performance by this talented author, who seems to be coasting on automatic pilot.”

Book cover Book: Nine Perfect Strangers Author: Liane Moriarty
Pages: 453 Duration: 02/09/19 – 02/14/19 (6 days)
Rating: 3 stars Genres: fiction, contemporary, womens fiction
Nine people gather at a remote health resort. Some are here to lose weight, some are here to get a reboot on life, some are here for reasons they can’t even admit to themselves. Amidst all of the luxury and pampering, the mindfulness and meditation, they know these ten days might involve some real work. But none of them could imagine just how challenging the next ten days are going to be. It’s not long before every guest at Tranquillum House is asking exactly the same question.
This was among my least favorite fiction books of the year. The premise was interesting enough, but it dragged at times, and it got quite preposterous at others.

Book cover Book: Becoming Author: Michelle Obama
Pages: 428 Duration: 02/24/19 – 04/28/19 (63 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: nonfiction, autobiography, memoir
In her memoir, a work of deep reflection and mesmerizing storytelling, Michelle Obama invites readers into her world, chronicling the experiences that have shaped her—from her childhood on the South Side of Chicago to her years as an executive balancing the demands of motherhood and work, to her time spent at the world’s most famous address. With unerring honesty and lively wit, she describes her triumphs and her disappointments, both public and private, telling her full story as she has lived it—in her own words and on her own terms. Warm, wise, and revelatory, Becoming is the deeply personal reckoning of a woman of soul and substance who has steadily defied expectations—and whose story inspires us to do the same.
This book made me ache for the days when class and civility inhabited The White House. I read this book as part of our Mostly Social Book Club.

Book cover Book: The Last Romantics Author: Tara Conklin
Pages: 368 Duration: 02/15/19 – 05/21/19 (96 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, contemporary
A sweeping yet intimate epic about one American family, The Last Romantics is an unforgettable exploration of the ties that bind us together, the responsibilities we embrace and the duties we resent, and how we can lose – and sometimes rescue – the ones we love. A novel that pierces the heart and lingers in the mind, it is also a beautiful meditation on the power of stories – how they navigate us through difficult times, help us understand the past, and point the way toward our future
This book immediately reminded me of the first line from Anna Karenina: “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” It’s so interesting to me how siblings who grow up in the same family and household can turn out so differently and how so much dysfunction can take place in one family. Also, I love how this book starts at a funeral. I read this book as part of our Mostly Social Book Club.

Book cover Book: Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story Author: Jacob Tobia
Pages: 336 Duration: 06/09/19 – 06/19/19 (11 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: nonfiction, autobiography, memoir, LGBT, queer
Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story charts those decades, from Jacob’s Methodist childhood to the hallowed halls of Duke University and the portrait-laden parlors of the White House, taking you on a gender odyssey you won’t soon forget. With the snarky voice and wrenching vulnerability that have made them a media sensation, Jacob shatters the long-held notion that people are easily sortable into “men” and “women.” Sissy guarantees that you’ll never think about gender—both other people’s and your own—the same way again.
The last serious book I read on gender was My Lips: Sexual Subversion and the End of Gender by Riki Anne Wilchins’Read back in 2003. It, too, tried many of my misconceptions and disinformation about gender. I enjoyed reading this book much more than that one, though, because of Jacob’s impressive ability to share his humanity in a deep, yet relatable way that challenges one’s thinking about gender. And there definitely was a remarkable Aha! moment in it for me. I recommended this book for our Mostly Social Book Club, and here’s a 7-minute clip of Jacob with Trevor Noah on The Daily Show.

Book cover Book: The Murder Pit Author: Jeff Shelby
Pages: 326 Duration: 05/19/19 – 06/23/19 (36 days)
Rating: 3 stars Genres: fiction, mystery
Daisy Savage finally has everything she wants. A new husband. A bunch of kids. A charming old house. What she doesn’t want is a dead body. When a frozen pipe in the basement of her century-old home leads her and her husband downstairs into a newly discovered crawl space, they find a coal chute they didn’t know they had. And a corpse inside of it.
I can’t really put my finger on why this book didn’t captivate me, but it didn’t. A reviewer, who really liked it, noted, “For me, the first 3 chapters, while charming, were a little slow. Not slow enough for me to put the book aside, but not as fastly paced as the rest of the story. It was right about chapter 4… right there at the end of it… that the novel really took off and never faltered. And I gotta confess… no, not to the murder… but to the fact that I had way too much fun flying through the pages!” I gotta confess that all of those ellipses in that review annoyed me, but with that said, I didn’t like it, but YMMV.

Book cover Book: Constance: The Tragic and Scandalous Life of Mrs. Oscar Wilde Author: Franny Moyle
Pages: 336 Duration: 06/08/17 – 06/26/19 (2 years, 19 days)
Rating: 4 stars Genres: nonfiction, biography, history
In the spring of 1895 the life of Constance Wilde changed irrevocably. Up until the conviction of her husband, Oscar, for homosexual crimes, she had held a privileged position in society. Part of a gilded couple, she was a popular children’s author, a fashion icon, and a leading campaigner for women’s rights. A founding member of the magical society The Golden Dawn, her pioneering and questioning spirit encouraged her to sample some of the more controversial aspects of her time. Mrs. Oscar Wilde was a phenomenon in her own right.
I wanted to—more like, felt like I should—like this book way more than I did. Obviously, I didn’t hate it, since I never abandoned it over the ample just-over 2 years it took me to read it. In the end, I think who I really wanted to read about was Oscar, not Constance, and the dalliances that led to his social demise didn’t happen until well into the second half of the book. She was also very much into fashion, about which I have little-to-no interest in. With all that said, I’m glad I finally finished it.

Book cover Book: The Professor & the Madman: A Tale of Murder, Insanity & the Making of the Oxford English Dictionary Author: Simon Winchester
Pages: 288 Duration: 06/27/19 – 07/03/19 (7 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: nonfiction, history, biography, humanities, language, writing, books about books
A masterfully researched, and eloquently written, extraordinary tale of madness, genius, and the incredible obsessions of two remarkable men that led to the making of the Oxford English Dictionary (OED)—and literary history. The compilation of the OED, begun in 1857, was one of the most ambitious projects ever undertaken. As definitions were collected, the overseeing committee, led by Professor James Murray, discovered that one man, Dr. W. C. Minor, had submitted more than ten thousand. When the committee insisted on honoring him, a shocking truth came to light: Dr. Minor, an American Civil War veteran, was also an inmate at an asylum for the criminally insane.
I, of course, knew what the Oxford English Dictionary (OED) was before I read this book, but I didn’t know the breadth and depth of it. Knowing what I now know about its origin and development, it’s quite inconceivable how much of it was done without the aid of computers. This was also my first Simon Winchester book, and it piqued my interest in other books of his. After I finished reading this one, Bob and I watched the movie based on this book.

Book cover Book: The Wife Between Us Authors: Greer Hendricks and Sarah Pekkanen
Pages: 416 Duration: 07/07/19 – 07/14/19 (8 days)
Rating: 4 stars Genres: fiction, thriller, mystery, suspense
When you read this book, you will make many assumptions. You will assume you are reading about a jealous ex-wife. You will assume she is obsessed with her replacement—a beautiful, younger woman who is about to marry the man they both love. You will assume you know the anatomy of this tangled love triangle. Assume nothing.
I’m not a huge fan of psychological thrillers, but I do like the unreliable narrator literary device, which this book certainly employs. It did keep me guessing and wanting to know what the “truth” was.

Book cover Book: The Stranger Author: Albert Camus
Pages: 123 Duration: 07/16/19 – 07/18/19 (3 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, classics, philosophy, French culture, literature
Through the story of an ordinary man unwittingly drawn into a senseless murder on an Algerian beach, Camus explored what he termed “the nakedness of man faced with the absurd.” In January 1955, Camus wrote: I summarized The Stranger a long time ago, with a remark I admit was highly paradoxical: “In our society any man who does not weep at his mother’s funeral runs the risk of being sentenced to death.” I only meant that the hero of my book is condemned because he does not play the game.
In spite of always being in “advanced placement” English classes (of course, I was) and the tremendous amount of reading I’ve done in my life, I’d never read this novella. I loved this existential inquiry into the cost of not being willing to do what society expects.

Book cover Book: The Perks of Being a Wallflower Author: Stephen Chbosky
Pages: 222 Duration: 07/19/19 – 07/23/19 (5 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, young adult, contemporary
The Perks of Being a Wallflower is a story about what it’s like to travel that strange course through the uncharted territory of high school. The world of first dates, family dramas, and new friends. Of sex, drugs, and The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Of those wild and poignant roller-coaster days known as growing up.
I enjoy the epistolary novel device of books like this, and I liked that there was a main character who is gay. There is a certain underlying darkness to this story, which also appealed to me. After I finished reading it, Bob and I watched the movie based on this book.

Book cover Book: One Plus One Author: Jojo Moyes
Pages: 369 Duration: 07/25/19 – 08/02/19 (9 days)
Rating: 4 stars Genres: fiction, contemporary, romance, womens fiction, adult
Suppose your life sucks. A lot. Your husband has done a vanishing act, your teenage stepson is being bullied and your math whiz daughter has a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that you can’t afford to pay for. That’s Jess’s life in a nutshell—until an unexpected knight-in-shining-armor offers to rescue them. Only Jess’s knight turns out to be Geeky Ed, the obnoxious tech millionaire whose vacation home she happens to clean. But Ed has big problems of his own, and driving the dysfunctional family to the Math Olympiad feels like his first unselfish act in ages… maybe ever.
I first read this author, JoJo Moyes, last year with the first book of her trilogy: Me Before You, After You, and Still Me. I enjoyed the writing and storytelling so much in the first one that I went on to read the second two in the series. One Plus One landed on our Mostly Social Book Club agenda for this year, and unfortunately, I found it a bit tedious and frustrating, but I did finish it, because it was a book club book. With that said, the other members of the book club enjoyed it more than I did.

Book cover Book: Winter in Paradise Author: Elin Hilderbrand
Pages: 320 Duration: 08/10/19 – 08/11/19 (2 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, womens fiction, mystery
Irene Steele’s idyllic life—house, husband, family—is shattered when she is woken up by a late-night phone call. Her beloved husband has been found dead, but before Irene can process this tragic news, she must confront the perplexing details of her husband’s death. He was found on St. John island, a tropical paradise far removed from their suburban life. Leaving the cold winter behind, Irene flies down to the beautiful Caribbean beaches of St. John only to make another shocking discovery: her husband had a secret second family. As Irene investigates the mysterious circumstances of her husband’s death, she is plunged into a web of intrigue and deceit belied by the pristine white-sand beaches of St. John’s.
I devoured this book, my first by author Elin Hilderbrand even though she’s written 30 books. I didn’t know when I started that it was the first in a series of 3 books of which the second two were not yet available. A few months after I finished this one, the second one, What Happens in Paradise, came out and it’s further down my list. This was billed as “an easy, summer read,” and it certainly lived up to its claim. I essentially read it in a day-and-a-half, and it kept me intrigued throughout as well as looking forward to the second book in the series to get some answers. I recommended we read this book as part of our Mostly Social Book Club.

Book cover Book: Summer Sisters Author: Judy Blume
Pages: 416 Duration: 08/24/19 – 08/25/19 (2 days)
Rating: 4 stars Genres: fiction, womens fiction, young adult, romance
In the summer of 1977, Victoria Leonard’s world changes forever when Caitlin Somers chooses her as a friend. Dazzling, reckless Caitlin welcomes Vix into the heart of her sprawling, eccentric family, opening doors to a world of unimaginable privilege, sweeping her away to vacations on Martha’s Vineyard, an enchanting place where the two friends become “summer sisters.” Now, years later, Vix is working in New York City. Caitlin is getting married on the Vineyard. And the early magic of their long, complicated friendship has faded. But Caitlin begs Vix to come to her wedding, to be her maid of honor. And Vix knows that she will go—because she wants to understand what happened during that last shattering summer. And, after all these years, she needs to know why her best friend—her summer sister—still has the power to break her heart.
Although she’s touted as “a writer who has won the hearts and minds of readers of all generations,” I abandoned the first book of hers that I read shortly before trying this one—In the Unlikely Event. There were too many characters that I couldn’t keep track of and it wasn’t bringing me joy. This book brought me enough joy to keep reading it, and I did come to understand the fuss about Judy Blume’s writing. I’m glad I read it.

Book cover Book: The Secrets Mothers Keep Author: Jacquie Underdown
Pages: 266 Duration: 09/02/19 – 09/04/19 (3 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, womens fiction
One Family. Three generations. A common goal to unite them. A lifetime of secrets to divide them. But could uncovering the truth be the only way that this family can finally heal? Three generations of women find their way back home to Tasmania. They embark on a project together to renovate the family manor and convert it into a bed and breakfast. With the family now under the one roof, and the past tampered with, the foundations of this secret are shaken.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book, and in fact had a hard time naming Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story over this one as my favorite book of the year. I just thought it did a great job of slowly unfolding enormous family secrets as the story progressed and enjoyed the portrayal of the characters’ responses to them.

Book cover Book: Never Be The Same Author: Silk White
Pages: 210 Duration: 09/08/19 – 09/08/19 (1 days
Rating: 4 stars Genres: fiction, mystery, African American
Meet Paige, a famous actress whose career is on the come up. Things couldn’t be better, until her front door is kicked in by the police. After being forced to snitch on her fiance or go to jail, Paige makes a decision that is sure to change her life forever. Meanwhile, Paige’s fiance Jeezy has problems of his own. The kind of problems that can get him killed or placed in jail for the rest of his life. With his back to the wall and a gun in his hand the only way out is for him to shoot his way out. When it’s all said and done both of their lives will never be the same. Join Silk White as he once again takes you on a ride that you won’t soon forget. Once readers put this book down they to will never be the same.
The story line of this book is what kept me reading it, because the writing was not easy for me to read. Also, I wanted to read (at least) one book classified in the African American genre.

Book cover Book: Boy Erased: A Memoir of Identity, Faith, and Family Author: Garrard Conley
Pages: 340 Duration: 09/10/19 – 09/19/19 (10 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: nonfiction, biography, autobiography, memoir, LGBT, queer
The son of a Baptist pastor and deeply embedded in church life in small town Arkansas, as a young man Garrard Conley was terrified and conflicted about his sexuality. When Garrard was a 19-year-old college student, he was outed to his parents, and was forced to make a life-changing decision: either agree to attend a church-supported conversion therapy program that promised to “cure” him of homosexuality; or risk losing family, friends, and the God he had prayed to every day of his life. By confronting his buried past and the burden of a life lived in shadow, Garrard traces the complex relationships among family, faith, and community. At times heart-breaking, at times triumphant, this memoir is a testament to love that survives despite all odds.
This book surprised me in that I thought I was going to be angry the whole time reading it, but wasn’t. From all that I heard about it, which was about the movie, and with the subject of conversion therapy being a good part of it, well, I just thought it was going to enrage me. I have to think it was the voice of the narrator (the young boy that all this happened to) that kept me calm.

Book cover Book: The Wonder of All Things Author: Jason Mott
Pages: 400 Duration: 09/20/19 – 09/21/19 (2 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, fantasy, paranormal, contemporary
On an ordinary day, at an air show like that in any small town across the country, a plane crashes into a crowd of spectators. After the dust clears, a thirteen-year-old girl named Ava is found huddled beneath a pocket of rubble with her best friend, Wash. He is injured and bleeding, and when Ava places her hands over him, his wounds disappear. Ava has an unusual gift: she can heal others of their physical ailments. Until the air show tragedy, her gift was a secret. Now the whole world knows, and suddenly people from all over the globe begin flocking to her small town, looking for healing and eager to catch a glimpse of The Miracle Child. But Ava’s unique ability comes at a great cost, and as she grows weaker with each healing, she soon finds herself having to decide just how much she’s willing to give up in order to save the ones she loves most.
In general, I’m not a big fan of fantasy, but this book had just a touch of it with one character having paranormal powers. What I did like about it was that it raised questions about morality and explored the question of whether one has an obligation to do good for the others at the expense of oneself, if one has the ability to. I read this book as part of our Mostly Social Book Club.

Book cover Book: Two Boys Kissing Author: David Levithan
Pages: 200 Duration: 09/23/19 – 09/23/19 (1 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, young adult, romance, contemporary, LGBT, queer
David Levithan tells the based-on-true-events story of Harry and Craig, two 17-year-olds who are about to take part in a 32-hour marathon of kissing to set a new Guinness World Record—all of which is narrated by a Greek Chorus of the generation of gay men lost to AIDS. While the two increasingly dehydrated and sleep-deprived boys are locking lips, they become a focal point in the lives of other teen boys dealing with languishing long-term relationships, coming out, navigating gender identity, and falling deeper into the digital rabbit hole of gay hookup sites—all while the kissing former couple tries to figure out their own feelings for each other.
I learned about this book through a friend’s Facebook posting about books that have been banned, which immediately made me interested in reading it. I really liked the writing device of a past generation of gay men who have died from AIDS being a sort of “Greek chorus” for what’s going on in the present in the book. There’s a 4.5-minute podcast about it being banned, if you’re interested.

Book cover Book: Abarat Author: Clive Barker
Pages: 393 Duration: 09/24/19 – 10/09/19 (16 days)
Rating: 3 stars Genres: fiction, young adult, fantasy, horror
Candy lives in Chickentown USA: the most boring place in the world, her heart bursting for some clue as to what her future may hold. She is soon to find out: swept out of our world by a giant wave, she finds herself in another place entirely… The Abarat is a vast archipelago where every island is a different hour of the day, from the sunlit wonders of Three in the Afternoon, where dragons roam, to the dark terrors of the island of Midnight, ruled by Christopher Carrion. Candy has a place in this extraordinary world: she has been brought here to help save the Abarat from the dark forces that are stirring at its heart. Forces older than time itself, and more evil than anything Candy has ever encountered.
I am not a fan of science fiction or fantasy, and I only learned of this book seeing it posted on a Friend’s Facebook timeline saying that they were reading it. And the only thing that intrigued me about the plot synopsis was the description of the Abarat as “a vast archipelago where every island is a different hour of the day.” As was no surprise, it was one of my least favorite books of the year, but I obviously didn’t hate it, since I finished it.

Book cover Book: Marriage Can Be Murder Author: Emma Jameson
Pages: 282 Duration: 10/10/19 – 10/15/19 (6 days)
Rating: 4 stars Genres: fiction, historical fiction, mystery
On the eve of World War II, Dr. Benjamin Bones is at war with himself. While most young men are being sent away to fight the Germans, Ben is chosen to serve on English soil. Ordered to move to wild, beautiful Cornwall, he must trade his posh London office and stylish city life for the tiny village of Birdswing, population 1,221 souls. But leaving his home and shelving his career ambitions aren’t the only sacrifices facing Ben. His unfaithful wife, Penny, is accompanying him to Cornwall in a last-ditch effort to save their marriage. But moments after their arrival, Penny is run down in the street, and Ben is almost fatally injured. And while the villagers assume Penny’s death to be an accident, Ben quickly deduces it was murder. While adapting to life during Britain’s “War at Home,” a time of ration books, victory gardens, bomb shelters, and the Blackout, Ben sets about solving the mystery of Penny’s murder.
This book was described as a “cozy mystery.” I’m not sure what makes a mystery cozy, but it’s not an adjective I personally would have associated with this book. I liked the Lady Juliet Linton character a lot. The “Fenton House ghost,” not so much. I gave it a 4, because the writing was pretty good, but the story was just meh to me.

Book cover Book: Behind Every Great Man: Women in the Shadows of History’s Alpha Males Author: Marlene Wagman-Geller
Pages: 369 Duration: 10/17/19 – 10/23/19 (7 days)
Rating: 3 stars Genres: nonfiction, women, history, feminism, short stories
Throughout history, men have gotten most of the good ink. Often overlooked are the extraordinary wives, mistresses, and companions who were every bit as instrumental in shaping their destinies. Discover Emma Wedgewood (Mrs. Charles Darwin), Alma Reveille (Mrs. Alfred Hitchcock), and 26 more women who stood behind their alpha males, for better or worse, and helped steer the course of history.
I really thought I was going to like this book way more than I did. I think there were too many people chosen to write about, and after a while they all ran together to me. When I tried to remember back at any point, I had a hard time remembering (if I could at all) which woman went with which man and what her contribution is. I know that’s sad, but that’s how it went down with me. One other thing that bugged me was, that although I was happy that a Lesbian couple was included, I can’t resolve that with the very title of the book. But, that’s just me.

Book cover Book: Sentence of Marriage Author: Shayne Parkinson
Pages: 415 Duration: 10/10/19 – 10/29/19 (20 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, historical fiction, romance
In nineteenth century New Zealand, there are few choices for a farm girl like Amy. Her life seems mapped out for her by the time she is twelve. Amy dreams of an exciting life in the world beyond her narrow boundaries. But it is the two people who come to the farm from outside the valley who change her life forever, and Amy learns the high cost of making the wrong choice.
I really got into this book, partly because the writing that described the tension between the daughter and her father’s new girlfriend was so well done. I like it when an author can really make you hate a character coming by it honestly. It wasn’t until I was done that I learned this was book #1 of a 4-part series. I do plan on reading at least part #2—after which I decide on going on to the others.

Book cover Book: What Happens in Paradise Author: Elin Hilderbrand
Pages: 432 Duration: 10/30/19 – 11/03/19 (5 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, womens fiction
A year ago, Irene Steele had the shock of her life: her loving husband, father to their grown sons and successful businessman, was killed in a helicopter crash. But that wasn’t Irene’s only shattering news: he’d also been leading a double life on the island of St. John, where another woman loved him, too. Now Irene and her sons are back on St. John, determined to learn the truth about the mysterious life — and death — of a man they thought they knew. Along the way, they’re about to learn some surprising truths about their own lives, and their futures.
This is the sequel to Winter in Paradise, which I read back in August. It read just as quickly as the first one, answered a few of the questions I had about Russell & Rosie’s relationship and Russell’s business goings-on, but in general, it spent too much time on the two sons and their romantic shenanigans back on St. John. With all that said, I will read the third—and final—book once it becomes available.

Book cover Book: The End of Your Life Book Club Author: Will Schwalbe
Pages: 336 Duration: 11/04/19 – 11/09/19 (6 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: nonfiction, biography, autobiography, memoir, writing, books about books
The inspiring story of a son and his dying mother, who form a “book club” that brings them together as her life comes to a close. Mary Anne Schwalbe is waiting for her chemotherapy treatments when Will casually asks her what she’s reading. The conversation they have grows into tradition: soon they are reading the same books so they can have something to talk about in the hospital waiting room. The ones they choose range from classic to popular, from fantastic to spiritual, and we hear their passion for reading and their love for each other in their intimate and searching discussions. A profoundly moving testament to the power of love between a child and parent, and the power of reading in our lives.
I was amazed at the sheer volume of books this mother and son read in their lives, and especially in the final 2 years of the mother’s life. At one point, I thought I might try to make a list of them all when, but when I got to the end of the story, there was an appendix with that already done!

Book cover Book: Where the Crawdads Sing Author: Delia Owens/strong>
Pages: 384 Duration: 12/19/19 – 12/20/19 (2 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, historical fiction, mystery
For years, rumors of the “Marsh Girl” have haunted Barkley Cove, a quiet town on the North Carolina coast. So in late 1969, when handsome Chase Andrews is found dead, the locals immediately suspect Kya Clark, the so-called Marsh Girl. But Kya is not what they say. Sensitive and intelligent, she has survived for years alone in the marsh that she calls home, finding friends in the gulls and lessons in the sand. Then the time comes when she yearns to be touched and loved. When two young men from town become intrigued by her wild beauty, Kya opens herself to a new life–until the unthinkable happens.
Several people told me told me that they thought the story was just okay in this book, but that the writing was beautiful. But, I liked both the story and the writing.

Book cover Book: Through Streets Broad and Narrow Author: Gemma Jackson
Pages: 464 Duration: 12/27/19 – 12/30/19 (4 days)
Rating: 5 stars Genres: fiction, historical fiction, Irish culture
On New Year’s Day 1925 Ivy Rose Murphy awakes to find her world changed forever. Her irresponsible Da is dead. She is grief-stricken and alone – but for the first time in her life free to please herself. After her mother deserted the family, Ivy became the sole provider for her Da and three brothers. Pushing a pram around the well-to-do areas of Dublin every day, she begged for the discards of the wealthy which she then turned into items she could sell around Dublin’s markets. As she visits the morgue to pay her respects to her Da, a chance meeting introduces Ivy to a new world of money and privilege, her mother’s world. Ivy is suddenly a woman on a mission to improve herself and her lot in life.
This is another one of those books that captivated me right from the beginning and which I plowed through. It also makes the third series (1st of 4 books) in this “Ivy Rose” series), I read this year, joining Elin Hilderbrand’s “Paradise” series (3 books) and Shayne Parkinson’s “Promises to Keep” series (4 books)

Attack of the 50-ft Woman…

In this, our sixth movie from the collection of various and sundry movie posters Bob has framed and hanging around our house, I found myself prepared for the worst. The kind of movie that I imagine going with a poster like this is not one that compels me. In retrospect, I didn’t find it that bad, which I guess is why it’s often characterized as one of those movies that’s “so bad it’s good.”

Random thoughts I had during this movie:

  • At about 45 minutes into the 65-minute film: “I’m concerned that we still haven’t seen the film’s eponymous protagonist.”
  • Once the giants appear: “Why are they sometimes opaque and sometimes translucent?”

  • At the first glimpses of the giant woman, which only shows her right hand: “They sure are getting their money’s worth out of that huge paper mâché hand prop.”

    Nancy's hand
  • At the first appearance of the alien space craft: “Why are they calling it a satellite instead of a space ship or UFO?” (There is a short discussion about this in one of the FAQs on the IMDB page, if you’re interested in a possible explanation.)

In the end, the 2 things that bothered me the most were:

  • In the movie, they refer to the woman as a “30-foot giant,” but the very name of the movie is “Attack of the 50-ft. Woman.”
  • The poster for this movie is a scene that never even remotely appears in this movie. I mean the setting is essentially a rural one-stoplight town. The only infrastructure the 30-foot woman hovers over is the town hotel and bar shown in the bottom right quadrant of the collage picture below.

    Poster vs. reality

But as it turns out, there was so much more to be bothered by that I didn’t even notice. Here are some from the goofs page of the IMDB entry for this film:

  • When Nancy is normal-sized, she is a brunette with a short, styled hairdo. But when she’s super-sized, she’s suddenly a blonde with long curly hair.
  • Although the alien is a giant, when the sheriff and Jess go into the “satellite” (the alien spacecraft), the passageways and interiors are for human-sized inhabitants.
  • Clothes are sticking out of Harry’s suitcase as he hurriedly brings it out of the bedroom. In the next shot, the suitcase appears neatly packed. (I actually noticed this one.)
  • When Nancy is lying on the ground dead, one of her eyelids moves. (I sure wish I’d noticed that!)
  • About 40 minutes in, Harry is filling a large (~30 CC) syringe in an attempt to kill his wife, but after he and the nurse are shocked to see she has become a giant, he is only holding a small (~ 1 CC) syringe. (And Bob pointed out that nobody wipes the needle with alcohol before they use it.)
  • How Allison Hayes can be fifty feet tall and yet remain in a standard size room is never explained. (In her defense, she was lying down, so maybe the room was 60-feet long.)
  • The giant picks up Nancy’s 1958 Plymouth station wagon, throws it to the ground and, mysteriously, the Plymouth station wagon turns into a 1949 Chevrolet Station Wagon. Also, when the giant alien picks up the Plymouth wagon, the scene behind it, the still frame cut from the movie ad, is moved about to simulate the car’s movement. The slow motion action reveals the 1949 Chevrolet Styleline Deluxe Woody Wagon.

In the end, I’m glad I watched this to have an idea what’s behind the poster that I see practically every day in our living room.

An unidentified man…

Last night I listened to a podcast episode of Snap Judgment, called Counted: An Oakland Story. The episode was about how Oakland’s homicide rate has declined from a high point of 140 one year to 77 in 2017.

“And about those 77, we wanted to let you know about these artists, singers, students, activists, teachers—they are the Oakland family. They are what make beautiful Oakland, edgy Oakland, woke Oakland. Every loss, makes this place less special. So we’re going to do something a little different in this episode. We’re going to tell you who some of these people were.”

There’s a website associated with the project, and on its “In memory of” page each victim is featured—all with their date of death, some with sketches of them, and most with their names included. But 7 of them—with a sketch of either a rose or a candle in the place of their face—say, “Unidentified man.”

This morning I was still thinking about those unidentified men. How does that happen? And I wrote this short contemplation.

The unidentified man

I’m one of 7. I died in Oakland in 2017 on:

  1. February 15 or
  2. May 30 or
  3. September 28 or
  4. October 21 or
  5. November 23 or
  6. December 12 or
  7. December 16.

Imagine for a minute that you—yes you—are walking down the street, late tonight on your way home, and you get killed. Can you think of 3 people who could identify you? How about 5? 10?

There are so many ways to identify me, but they had no luck. No luck for me that my fingerprints or DNA weren’t in “the database.” And I thought that was a good thing.

I didn’t have good teeth. That wasn’t the reason there were no dental records to match. There were no dentists in my life.

I know why my family isn’t looking for me. There was no father, or mother, in my life. They had their own lives to live. And I was an inconvenience in them.

And don’t think nobody on the street knew me. I did know one other member of this club, a club none of us wanted to join. And that person definitely knew me. But someone got revenge on him for someone he killed.

My favorite member of the club? It has to be Jason. They said about him: “He actually didn’t live on the streets, but inside them. Inside the hollow cement pillars that hold up that off-ramp, where he made a room for himself—he even wired cable and internet inside with a projector, a couch, and a mini-fridge.” That cat was hooked up. I was not so resourceful.

But resources can’t help me now. At least I count. I count among the 77 of 2017—even as I lie in an unguarded tomb, unknown.

Riff on a connection mnemonic…

Like I’m sure a lot of people did last night, I thought about the old adage, “Spring forward, fall back.” But probably unlike a lot of people, this morning I contemplated mnemonics—those memory aids we employ for those things we do either so infrequently or that aren’t so meaningful that they’re hard to remember. A quick search on Wikipedia reveals these 9 types of mnemonics:

1. Music mnemonics: Songs and jingles can be used as a mnemonic. A common example is how children remember the alphabet by singing the ABC’s.

2. Name mnemonics (acronym): The first letter of each word is combined into a new word. For example: VIBGYOR (or ROY G BIV) for the colors of the rainbow or HOMES for the Great Lakes.

3. Expression or word mnemonics: The first letter of each word is combined to form a phrase or sentence — e.g. “Richard of York gave battle in vain” for the colors of the rainbow.

4. Model mnemonics: Some type of representation is constructed to help with understanding and recalling important information.

5. Ode mnemonics: The information is placed into a poem or doggerel, — e.g. ‘Note socer, gener, liberi, and Liber god of revelry, like puer these retain the ‘e (most Latin nouns of the second declension ending in -er drop the -e in all of the oblique cases except the vocative, these are the exceptions).

6. Note organization mnemonics: The way textbook and lecture notes are organized (e.g., notecards, outlines) can inhibit learning and recall or promote it.

7. Image mnemonics: The information is constructed into a picture — e.g. the German weak declension can be remembered as five ‘-e’s’, looking rather like the state of Oklahoma in America, in a sea of ‘-en’s’.

8. Connection mnemonics: New knowledge is connected to knowledge already known.

9. Spelling mnemonics: An example is “i before e except after c” or “when sounding like a in neighbor and weigh.”

I decided that “spring forward, fall back” is a connection mnemonic, and to that end I wrote this piece, which I call “Riff on a Connection Mnemonic,” because there just aren’t enough riffs on connection mnemonics, or any other kind of mnemonic, really.


Spring forward. Going forward. Fast forward. Forward, March.

Spring forward.
Spring has sprung.
Sprung a leak.
Take a leak.
Take a break.
Break a leg.
Get a leg up on it.
Have a leg to stand on.

Going forward.
Going strong.
Strong women.
Women of color.
Color my world.
World peace.
Peace and quiet.
Quietly changing the world.

Fast forward.
Fast as lightning.
Lightning bugs.
The light of a thousand stars.
Star light, star bright.
Bright lights, big city.
City by the sea.
See the light at the end of the tunnel.

Forward, March.
Forward thinking.
Thinking too much.
Too much to handle.
Handle the hands on your clock.
Clean someone’s clock.
Clean up your act.
It’s a balancing act.

Spring forward. Going forward. Fast forward. Forward, March.

My 60th birthday

~Friday, 10/13/17~

Here are 4 highlights of my life that stand out over these last 10 years. I just couldn’t narrow it down to 3—too much has happened this decade.

50 – 59 years old (2007 – 2016)

CELEBRATING TWO MILESTONE BIRTHDAYS. For my 50th birthday, I went to 3 places in Australia that were listed in the book, “1000 Places to See Before You Die.” One was in the Blue Mountains just outside of Sydney, one was Seven Spirit Bay on a private island in the outback that you had to be taken to by private plane, and the third was Heron Island on the Great Barrier Reef. For my 55th birthday, I saw Barbra Streisand in concert in Brooklyn. It’s something I’d wanted to do all my life and had been willing to spend up to $1000 for a ticket. You can just imagine my delight when I scored a seat for $399.

RETIRING (THE FIRST TIME). On my October 13, 2014, I gave myself the birthday gift of a lifetime—I retired. My boss and my team were so gracious and supportive of my decision and they gave me a wonderful send-off, complete with limericks, haiku, and love. I enjoyed being retired for one year and three months, and then as it so often will, life happened. Eventually, I’d have the second biggest coming out in my life, coming out of retirement in February of 2016. You can read why if you’re interested.

LOSING A PARENT. On Tuesday, September 8, 2015, I had the hardest conversation in my life with my dad about entering him into hospice. He died three days later.

LEGALLY MARRYING A PHENOMENAL HUMAN BEING WHO JUST HAPPENS TO BE A MAN. On June 26, 2015 the Supreme Court of the United States ruled in favor of same-sex marriage and that night, I asked Robert Anthony McVeigh to marry me, which he did on November 28th. With Bob’s family of 14 siblings, I picked up a cool 108 in-laws in one day, while he inherited a grand total of 8. We had an unbelievable November weather day and married in our backyard with heartwarming support from family who traveled near and far to be there, including my ex-wife.

Other reflections: Birth – 9 years old | 10 – 19 years old | 20 – 29 years old | 30 – 39 years old | 40 – 49 years old