My Salon LI responses…

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Salon LI Agenda & Responses

Sunday, April 12, 2015, 7:00 PM

Hibernian Restaurant

  1. Identity show-and-tell. Bring your current (and any old, why not?) passports, employee IDs, driver licenses, and conference badges to share with all. (John)

    We had a fantastic display of all of these things! We did take a photo of all of it, but we're not posting it online in the interest of erring on the side of caution with regards to identity theft. My stash consisted of:

    1. 12 conference badges

    2. 6 employee badges (IBM employee, IBM gym, Tivoli (after acquired by IBM), NC State, Red Hat as a contractor, and Red Hat as an employee)

    3. 1 student ID (NC State grad student)

    4. 8 NC driver's licenses (issue dates of: 1981, 1984, 1985, 1989, 1996, 1997, 2002, 2007)

    5. 3 passports (issue dates of: 1984, 1998, 2008)


  2. The most unusual—in whatever way and by any measure—proposition you ever received. (Anna)

    Many years ago, a Lesbian couple asked me if I would consider being a donor to father a child for them. It really knocked me for a loop, even though I'd already had a vasectomy by that time, and couldn't have done it if I'd've wanted to. That aside, it was an interesting emotional and intellectual exercise just thinking through how it might have all played out.

  3. Given that we're all perfectionists to some extent (which may or may not be true), what "body-focused compulsive habit" do you have that might substantiate that you are? (From the first 1 min, 38 seconds of this audio clip, or this textual version if you prefer.) (John)

    The audio version talked about "body-focused repetitive behaviors" (e.g., biting your nails, twisting your hair, and picking at your skin). A group of participants were exposed to situations of stress, relaxation, frustration and boredom, and it was the frustration and boredom situations that illicited those behaviors.

    I'm someone who bounces his legs a lot, being most aware of it when other people sitting on the same bench—or connected chairs—give me the evil eye or outright slap my leg. I've also been very aware of it lately at the gym while doing the strength-training machines. This is interesting to think about for me, because I don't consider myself frustrated or bored when I'm doing that.

  4. Man mistakenly included on bachelor party email thread told to come… Would you do this if it happened to you? If you're not sure, what criteria might you use to decide? Would your answer be different if it happened at a different time in your life? If so, how? (John)

    I would go under certain conditions. I would like to see what the guys looked like. (i.e., Are they hot?) I would want to know where they stand on social issues. (i.e., Would they kill a homo among them?) I would want to see some kind of agenda for the evening, because if 90% of the time was going to be spent in a titty bar, I'd want to pass on that. All that working out, I'd have to find cheap accommodations (both travel and lodging), and it would be helpful if it were a place I'd like to visit even if it weren't for the occasion.

  5. Girl names video (the boy names is not done yet). One name to rule them all!!!! (Sarah)

  6. What you learn in your 40s. True? Merits other than this quip: "In my 20s someone told me that each person has not one but 30 soul mates walking the earth. ('Yes,' said a colleague, when I informed him of this, 'and I’m trying to sleep with all of them.')" (Kim)

    Some of these things definitely rang true, although I can’t say unequivocally that they all came to me in my 40s. Most salient:

    1. “In fact, ‘soul mate’ isn’t a pre-existing condition. It’s an earned title. They’re made over time.” (i.e., A soul mate is not equivalent to “love at first sight.”

    2. “There will be unforgettable people with whom you have shared an excellent evening or a few days. Now they live in Hong Kong, and you will never see them again. That’s just how life is.”

    3. “You know that ‘nice’ isn’t a sufficient quality for friendship, but it’s a necessary one.”

    4. “People’s youthful quirks can harden into adult pathologies. What’s adorable at 20 can be worrisome at 30 and dangerous at 40. Also, at 40, you see the outlines of what your peers will look like when they’re 70.”

    5. “Just say ‘no.’ Never suggest lunch with people you don’t want to have lunch with. They will be much less disappointed than you think.

  7. Good grief. Your thoughts? Quote on Maya Angelou stamp isn't hers. (John)

    Whatever happened to citations? Whatever happened to vetting? Was an editor involved? <SMH>

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