Dentist humor…

I arrived at the office of Drs. Gover and Gover at about ten till eight. I read the obituaries, and then the story on the front page about the guy who had been pronounced dead at the scene of an accident, put in a body bag, and sent to the morgue. As the examiner was starting to check him out for cause of death, he noticed a slight, irregular heartbeat. Lord.

Leigh Ann was her usual pleasant hygienist self — I was going to say hygienic self, which she is, too. She told me I was doing a good job keeping my teeth clean, and asked if I had any questions. I told her that I had my retainers with me from when I’d had braces, and was wondering if there might be any harm of using them again. “Let’s ask the doctor that when he comes in.”

I had to wait about 15 minutes after she’d finished cleaning my teeth for the dentist to come in. Dr. David said, “How are you today, John?”

“My teeth are so clean I could eat off them,” I said. He laughed, and said, “I’ve actually never heard that one. Have you, Leigh Ann?”

“No,” she replied. They probably have an arrangement to always say that together to make the patients feel good.

“Well, if we’re telling bad dentist jokes, I have one for you then,” he said. I wasn’t quite comfortable with the word bad being used in that sentence. “I have lots of them, actually,” he said, and proceeded: “I’d like to congratulate you on starting the year off on the right tooth.”

After picking around in my mouth to everyone’s satisfaction, I asked him about wearing my retainers again.

“How long has it been since you’ve worn them?” he asked.

“Oh about 16 or 17 years.”

He replied, “Okay, first of all, I’m absolutely astounded that you still have your retainers from 16 years ago. And, I’d be further astounded if you could still get them in your mouth at all.”

I said, “Well, I can. I actually put them in a couple of weeks ago, and that’s why I was wondering if they would do any harm if I wore them regularly for a little while, because I think a couple of my teeth are starting to move back behind the others a little bit.”

“If you can get them in, and I don’t mean having to jam them in or it really hurting when you put them in, then that means two things. One, your teeth really haven’t moved that much, and two, it’s not going to harm them at all. Most people can’t get their retainers back in after 6 months of not using them. That’s really amazing that you can.”

I picked out my free toothbrush and container of floss, checked out, and made my next appointment for August 10th, which I Palm Piloted (of course) as soon as I got to the office.

My next stop was with Nathan for my financial planning meeting. He recommended four of the 150 funds IBM has just made available to us in our Tax Deferred Savings Plan to which to move money. We discussed the percentages, both in terms of what to move and in terms of future allocations. I left there feeling pretty good.

I picked up Courtney and we rode into work. I had a productive day, with a good chunk of it planning my process meeting for next Monday.

We left work at 5:00, stopped by Subway on the way home so Courtney could get something for dinner. I dropped her off, and headed to campus. It was about five to six when I got there, and there were no parking spots to be found. Damnit. I am usually there by 5:30 the latest, and it’s never been a problem. I drove around finding one way up by the road with the post office on it, and with the walk, was about five minutes late to class.

Class was okay. At one point, I was checking my email in class because Dr. Dicks was going over something that I’ve heard in probably all three classes I’ve taken with him so far. Lars tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to a page in his notebook where he had scribbled, “Pay attention!” 🙂

I thought we were going to take the “door observation tour” of the building in tonight’s class, but we didn’t.

Back at home, I made dinner: a salad, some steamed broccoli, and meat lasagna. Absolutely delicious. Courtney joined me at the table, eating some Kettle Corn Popcorn, and we talked about the Nutrifood, and how amazing it is that these entrees do not need freezing or refrigeration, but have meat in them. Too many people have asked me about that. I should note my “counselor” online and ask her how this food is preserved. However, sometimes, it’s best just to not know.

At Flex, I sat in my car for about 10 minutes listening to this riveting account on NPR by an Auschwitz survivor. Absolutely riveting.

Dancing was such a blast tonight. Travis and Astor returned. There were two new guys there named Rick and Floyd. It was Floyd’s birthday tomorrow, and Rick, his boyfriend, had asked him what he wanted to do for his birthday. “Go to Flex and learn a couple of the line dances we’ve seen them dancing to on Saturdays there,” he’d answered So, there they were. They live in Durham. They were real nice.

Van did a great job at his official debut of replacing Adam while he’s in Prague studying this semester. Carl taught the Boot Scoot Boogie and Midnight Waltz. Of course I did not get through the night without doing one or two shots, with Shawn there. I bought a round of Goldschlagers, and he bought a round of Maker’s Mark. Life is good.

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