A bad band director, a bad class, and a bad night of dancing. Other than that it was a great day…

September 26,2006

Child abuse

Don Earl Oakes, 66, of Fishing Creek Lane in Hubert, was charged Monday by the Onslow County Sheriff’s Department with felony child abuse sexual act, sex offense in a parental roles, indecent liberties with a child and crime against nature.

According to warrants, Oakes is accused of committing sexual acts with a minor.

Bond was set at $100,000.

Sad to say that the man in this article is the very yellow-circled man in the picture above — circa 1975. Yes, that’s me “leading the band.” Mr. Oakes was our band director.

He was arrested several years ago for a like charge, but was acquitted, I believe. He had a very, very vicious wife, and the rumor was that she’d “set him up” in that case, trying to get a more lucrative divorce settlement.

I guess I wanted to believe that, because he was a good teacher, and neither I, nor any of my fellow classmates in the band the years we had him, were ever “victims of” or “witnesses to” any improprieties of his — at least as much as we all discussed it at the time of his last arrest. Of course, we were all high school kids. This article doesn’t divulge, but perhaps his “preference” is for much younger children.

I’m not sure what this “sex offense in a parental roles,” business means — to me, it sounds like bad grammar, but that’s about it. A google search comes up with a couple more instance of it, which doesn’t shed any light on the term.

Class pretty much sucked today. This professor can be excruciating at times, too. She has a habit of saying, “I want you to cover a, b, c, d, e, f, g and under point h, cover sub-points i, j, k, and l, and I want it in a half page — two paragraphs maximum.”

This is the same experience I had with her in the class I took with her last semester. And it’s not just me that finds this exasperating. I’ve heard many of the students say, “Huh? Are you kidding? Cover all that, in two paragraphs?”

She defends it with, “It’s all about being concise.” The result being you either get dinged for it being too long, or it not covering all of the points. Frustrating.

My project partner didn’t have anything prepared for our “proposals for final project,” which was due today, nor had he seen an e-mail I sent to him about it about a week ago. Fortunately, he’s quite brilliant and articulate, and we were able to ad-lib our way through when it was our time to talk. Not my preferred operating style. I am an ESFJ.

Learning and Working

ESFJs learn best in structured situations where they know what they can expect. They like to schedule their learning projects so that they can plan ahead to complete their lessons. They become uncomfortable with continuous interruptions and changes when they are trying to finish what they have started. Even more importantly, however, they want to like the person who teaches them. The teacher-student relationship is helpful to them in doing their best. When there is disharmony in the classroom, it interrupts their learning process. When their work is criticised, even constructively, ESFJs may feel demoralized until they get it right and the teacher acknowledges this. Because they tend to personalize the feedback of their teachers, it is important for them to know teachers’ expectations so that they can work to meet them.

Learning tends to be a personal experience for ESFJs. This attitue, combined with their ability to follow through and meet deadlines, results in a conscientious and effective student. ESFJs often enjoy studies about people and their well-being, and are usually less interested in theoretical and abstract subject matters. They like active learning activities such as field trips, experiments and group projects that get them personally involved with others.

At work, ESFJs contribute their ability to cooperate with others and to complete tasks in atimely and accurate way. They respect rules and authority, andhandle daily operations efficiently. They tend to be well informed and up-to-date on organizational actions that matter to people. They do what they can to make sure that personal relationships are running smoothly. Because they pay close attention to people’s needs and wants, they are often involved in work activities that meet people’s practical, day-to-day desires.

ESFJs prefer occupations that allow them to provide direct and personal, yet practical, help to others. Occupations that call for organization and goal direction appeal to them. They are especially careful not to waste time or resources; to do so would go against their nature.

Some occupations are particularly appealing to ESFJs: childcare worker, dental assistant, elementary school teacher, home economist, nurse, office manager, radiological technologist, receptionist and secretary, religious educator, speech pathologist, and other occupations that allow them to help others and serve their values directly.

I wasn’t into dancing tonight. We reviewed the dance Swamp Thing, which I still don’t have, but made progress with tonight — in spite of “not being into it.”

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