Now that’s my kind of drug—or the rhetorical importance of juxtaposition and headings

~Wednesday~ My left knee (not to be confused with My Left Foot) started hurting “something terrible” (as they say down south) last night, and it wasn’t much better this morning. I was out of ibuprofen so I ran to the store to get some.

Imagine my delight when I got home and read these instructions encouraging me to have some bourbon and diets every day while using the product!

have 3 or more alcoholic drinks every day while using this product and take more or for a longer time than directed

This product contains an NSAID, which may cause severe stomach bleeding. The chance is higher if you:

have 3 or more alcoholic drinks every day while using this product and take more or for a longer time than directed

 

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