Stolen, and morphed a little, from a comment posted to e-musings‘ request for jokes: Did you hear about the cowboy to whom everyone kept saying, “Get along little dogie.”? He bought a Dachshund. Today was a TurboTax day in the neighborhood. I was up at the crack of dawn, since I went to bed at … Read more
Excuse the . I worked from home this morning, and from Helios this afternoon. Guess doing what. Right! Editing. I had lunch before heading to Helios, and I just can’t articulate how delicious it was: a salad consisting of lettuce, diced tomatoes, chopped scallions, diced red peppers, a chopped hard-boiled egg, julienned carrots, pineapple tidbits, a … Read more
Those of you who know me know I love puns, particularly complex puns. Here’s a goody: A frog hops inside a Chinese bank and reads the name of the teller, Patricia Wak. Strange name, thinks the frog. Strange customer, thinks the teller. ‘Can I help you?’ she asks. ‘Yes, Miss Wak,’ he says. ‘I’d like … Read more
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, “Doctor, doctor, I can’t feel my legs!” The doctor replied, “I know you can’t – I’ve cut off your arms!” Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you … Read more
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted. A dyslexic man walked into a bra. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, “I was artificially inseminated this morning.” “I don’t believe you,” says Dolly. “It’s true, no bull!” exclaims Daisy. Joe checked in with … Read more
Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: “Does this taste funny to you?” An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named “Ahmal.” … Read more
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.” A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: “A … Read more